Australian coach Mickey Arthur strictly asked Australian cricket team to keep the target below 300 or score at least 600 to stop India in 7^th one day international match. In a staggering revelation, Arthur said he found real weakness of Indian team after a lot of research.

"My personal computer suggested me that whenever Australian team scores below 300 runs, it defeats India. However, when Australia runs more than 300 then India comfortably wins that match. Therefore, I asked my team to contain their hunger for more and more runs against 'C' grade Indian bowling," said Mickey Arthur.

The sources said that Arthur issued a strict letter and asked George Bailey and Shane Watson to limit their temptations to score high against Indian bowling so that score would not move beyond 300 runs.

Arthur said "My research suggest that either we will have to limit our score at around 300 or needs to score more than 600 runs to save ourselves from Virat Kohli's monstrous attack."

In another important revelation, due to high scores scored by Australian batsmen, the world ignored Australia's 'D' grade bowling line up, said the sources. Yesterday night in a party, therefore Australian bowlers thanked Indian counterparts.

God has decided to contest for 2014 elections, said a circular issued from the heaven. According to the circular, God said he was literally fucked up with what is happening on the earth and particularly in India. He said that widespread corruption, scams, crime and communalism hurts him and wants to build a new society free of all these sins. However, Indian politicians denied him entry claiming that he lacks any juice that would pull the crowd.

"I want to build a peaceful society with no scams, corruption, crime and communal tension and therefore I thought of contesting elections in 2014," said God. According to sources, God is yet to decide which party he wants to join or whether he wants to stay independent.

He said "I am not sure about UPA or NDA or be independent. But I would like support candidates with clean characters."

Both Congress and BJP told India Satire correspondent that they received a request from the God for joining the party.

"I am not sure what kind of developmental agenda God will bring to the table. Rather than criticizing us on communalism he should check what he had done through Congress Party over the years. He himself supported corrupt UPA for 9 years. Now people want change and therefore we are pushing for Modiji," said BJP President Rajnath Singh.

Congress General Secretary, Digvijay Singh said "I am doubtful that God has any secular credentials. I think he wants to divide loyal vote bank of Congress party for RSS and therefore he was criticizing us on the lines of corruption. I can only say there is only one Godess and she is in Congress party and if she gives him a secular certificate then only we will review his application."

Showing their adamant behavior towards adjustment or change, few people said that they still feel doing job is shitty and fucking awful thing.

"What the fuck yaar? I still don't know till when I am going to come to this shitty hole and do some stupid work which only an ass hole does. I don't understand why the hell not money never grows on the trees? Why the hell we require coming to the shithole of our boss for earning some small buck and allow him to piss on ourselves?" a technocrat Jayesh Mishra made this shocking statement in front of his highly dedicated and ambitious colleagues.

According to sources, his colleagues who were present at the event shocked and amazed with Jayesh's statement. However, they confirmed that Jayesh was neither gone insane nor he consumed a bottle of liquor.

"He was fully under control, still passed such a bizarre statement. We were literally shocked when Jayesh made this statement. We thought in last 2 years he might have adjusted to his work but this was totally disgusting. He still thinks job is fucking thing, how ridiculous he is," said Neha Sharma, Jayesh's colleague.

According to experts, there are still few people in India which have not adjusted to the job life. They said that the process is going on and India will definitely see a new generation which loves working hard for 20 hours a day at their job places.

"Yes there are still a few people; you can say they are in thousands which are not yet fully converted into bulls and donkeys. That process is going on. In my view, case of Jayesh is not isolated and few others are still in private curse and abuse job life and their bosses," said Pankaj Mohopatra, an expert who tracks job market very closely.

Mohopatra said "People like Jayesh are exhausted, less ambitious, more stubborn and totally idiots who never recognized how much jobs offer them in terms of opportunities. It is always been better to remain an ass hole rather than doing nothing."

A recently joined 23 year old trainee who was also extra caring and funny towards her boss finally dumped him by calling 'Uncle' after she received her permanent letter, said the office sources. The sources confirmed that the boss was happiest person for last 3 months of her probation.

"I was a happiest person in the world when she showed her extra care, her love and affection towards me which neither my wife nor my mummy ever showed. She was a bit pushy towards my health and habits, watching films and going to restaurants for a perfect dinner. Whenever I was with her I saw jealousy in the eyes of others, including my staff. That period was so beautiful that I really started thinking about how I would manage 2 wives or would I require divorcing my earlier one. But now my dreams are shattered in pieces," confirmed boss.

Boss said with wet eyes "How can she ridicule me by calling uncle? Just till yesterday she used to address me directly by my name and today when I gave her permanent letter she told me 'Thank you uncle' (throat choked)."

According to sources, few office boys and back office staff which had a close watch on the developments immediately started attracting that loving and caring girl. The sources also confirmed that the perception of the staff towards boss also changed. Few over aged aunties these days started giving him extra care.

"The boy sits next to her has gotten a decent chance since he was a funny and also with deep pockets," said peon Ram Prasad who also tried his luck but couldn't succeed.

He said "I am a decent family man and don't get involved in all these kind of stupid things."

Much touted by left parties, unofficial Third Front finally announced its route to 2014 elections.

"We are going to field at least 5 Prime Ministers in 2014 elections and if situation remains favourable India will get 5-10 Prime Ministers after elections," said CPM leader Sitaram Yechuri.

Left parties confirmed that they don't want to take any chances in terms of failure of third front due to internal rivalry among party heads.

"We told Jayalalithaa and M Karunanidhi that you both can become partial Prime Ministers of South, Mayawati and Mulayam Singh Yadav will become partial Prime Ministers of North, Naveen Patnaik along with Nitish Kumar will become partial PM of Eastern region while we are looking out for reasonable regional candidate in western region. So they all can collect taxes and money from people of their respective regions," said Yechury "And I will become Prime Minister of India."

According to draft memorandum of understanding that each and every regional party will have to sign said that if PM aspirants go more than 10 then the third front will announce PM for every state.

Yechury said "We will also provide mobility option to every Prime Ministers. So if Mulayam Singh Yadav or Mayawati wants lead Western states like Maharashtra they can use our Equal Right to Lead option and change the region/state every year."

In an unprecedented event at News Hour Tonight, Times Now Editor Arnab Goswami's head blasted and blood splattered across the studio and on panelists after no one gave him the straight replies.

"It was really a sad event when Arnab Goswami's head with full of unanswered questions blasted like an atomic bomb and blood splashed everywhere. Each of the panelists who were present in the studio immediately soaked with blood and different parts of Arnab's brain after blast," said a source present at the time of the shocking event happened.

The source said that Arnab's brain was full of questions on a very serious security related issue. However, panelists present at the discussion were dodging all his questions and raised few new which were totally unrelated to core topic.

"Just 10 minutes before the end of show, his head gathered so many question and became red hot like an iron rod in fire. Finally, when Maroof Raza who was there at studio started making closing remarks, Arnab's head boomed with a big noise like dhadaaam dhoooom and all the blood spitted on Maroof's face and on his coat. Scared Maroof was immediately moved from that place and took to bathroom. Currently, we are gathering different parts of Arnab's brain and trying to encode his questions which were unanswered," said the source.

The source however, confirmed that gathering uncountable questions from Arnab's head will take months. When India Satire correspondent reached to panelists asking them who were responsible for the blast, they ducked away from the topic and held each other responsible.

Social activist Anna Hazare decided to change his name to Anna Gandhi so that the UPA Government will pass the bill. Anna Hazare made this announcement late night yesterday.

"I am Anna Gandhi today onwards, right from this time," roared Anna Hazare in front of lakhs of his followers yesterday night "I ask the cabinet committee of ministers to stop this 'nonsense' and introduce a stronger Jan Lokpal Bill in the next Parliamentary session."

Sources from Ralegan Siddhi said Anna Hazare had inspired from Rahul Gandhi who influenced Government's decision on passing an ordinance to protect convicted member of parliaments. The Gandhi scion recently called the ordinance as 'nonsense' and said that he would never buy the shit given by cabinet ministers including India's Prime Minister. Gandhi's scathing remarks hurt government which reversed its earlier decision. However, sources said that the Congress Party planned the entire drama to show that Rahul is not just a buttery baby but has grown up since past few days.

"That is what the government was interested in showing. Rahul's Raudra Avatar," said political analyst, in Delhi.

However, Anna Hazare's step to change his surname was a big shock to UPA government which didn't expect such an extreme move from the social activist.

"We can fight the idea of satyagraha or fast-unto-death activities but fighting a Gandhi surname is impossible for us," said Law Minister Kapil Sibal "There is no provision in law for disagreeing the orders of Gandhis."

Kapil Sibal confirmed "If Annaji has changed his surname from Hazare to Gandhi then we have no option but to bring 'strong Jan Lokpal Bill' in the parliament and take care to sail it through comfortably."

PM Dr. Manmohan Singh kept mum on the topic but said that he would be fine even if Anna Gandhi asks him to work as his steno after next elections.

Rajya Sabha member Rasheed Masood on Tuesday said that he was ready to go to jail for having a long and enjoyable stay. He said that he packed all his clothes, bottles of foreign liquor, sexy romantic innerwears and few girlfriends.

"I am also going to carry few comics and books of dirty jokes. Wow, it would be great to have privacy in jail where I can start imagining different dirty and stupid dreams which I couldn't because of work pressure and aspiration to earn easy and fast money. But now I can go on imagining for entire 4 years. I will watch all my dirty dreams in the jail," said Rasheed Masood.

Masood also confirmed that he packed all his new underwears just bought for the same purpose.

"I bought new underwears of different colours and designs including cartoons embossed on them. I will fulfill that dream too," said Masood.

Masood was sentenced to four years in jail by a special CBI court in Delhi on Tuesday for fraudulently nominating undeserving candidates to MBBS seats in 1990-91. He was held guilty of criminal conspiracy, cheating and forgery by court on September 19.

The political leader is the first MP to be convicted after the Supreme Court on July 10 struck down a law that provided immunity to convicted MPs and MLAs from immediate disqualification.

Masood confirmed that he would not take his wife and kids to jail to give him company.

He said "Rather I will ask my girlfriends to accompany me. I don't want to be punished by taking my wife with me in jail."

Rajya Sabha member Rasheed Masood on Tuesday became the first member of Parliament to be disqualified after conviction in a criminal case.

UNESCO World Heritage Centre recommended one of the sets in the upcoming movie Ram Leela as World Heritage Site and asked the movie producer and director to preserve the set.

"That stage has some strange colours and furniture. Something rubbish that had seen huge million dollar of spending," said an official of World Heritage Centre that recommends world heritage sites across the countries and continents.

He said "I am sure that set was some 675 years old and people dancing and singing are some 625 years back. Therefore, we decided to choose that set from while watching some crap in which a nude topless guy behaving idiotically. We always need to show patience while choosing heritage sites."

The officials have seen the movie and congratulated Sanjay Leela Bhansali, the movie director for choosing such wonderful colours and furniture for that set. They also gave him a complement that lotus could be found out from the muddy waters.

"UNESCO recommending one of my sets as their world heritage site is much bigger surprise for me than getting Oscar Award. I am sure they liked that set and I want to thank them for showing determination while watching my movie," said Sanjay Leela Bhansali.

The director also recommended for considering him and his movie's actor Ranbeer Singh as world heritage components.

Determine to remove peace, prosperity and safety from the country, whole Pakistan welcome bomb blast in Peshawar and committed its whole hearted support to war for terrorism. The nation celebrated the event with fire crackers and sweets.

"The nation is enjoying another blast which is meant to kill our own citizens. I am now waiting for my turn. I support all the terror organizations and Pakistan's political leaders to evacuate me and my family from the earth," said Hamid Mir, a Karachi based citizen.

A car bomb devastated a street in Peshawar on Sunday, killing at least 42 people and raising more questions of Pakistan's in safe-guarding their own citizens. However, in major turn to the event, Pakistan welcomed the attack and demanded more such slaughters in other cities.

Most of the citizens distributed sweets and are eager to lighten firecrackers in the night to celebrate the event.

"We are very happy that Pakistan today has become 100% terror nation and would love to endorse our support to take this good cause forward," said Abdur Rehman, a Lahor based engineer.

He said "We are very supportive to all the terror organizations which like to kill people in Pakistan, India, Russia and Afghanistan. We will feel worshipped when these terrorists will kill us. We thank Pakistan with the bottom of heart for creating such an insecure environment for our lives. Keep focusing on India and we are ready for another blast."

Pakistan's Prime Minister Nawaz Sharif who is present at UN General Assembly in America said that he is really happy that despite his absence in the country, the blasts never stopped. He also thanked the entire nation to giving him wholehearted support on the great cause of removing peace loving population from the country and helping terrorists to implement their violent rule.

"We are committed to all terrorist organizations and our own military to create conducive environment for vanishing peace loving people from the earth and create more and more insanity in our country. I will never allow Pakistan to be called as safest country on the earth," said Pakistan's Prime Minister Nawaz Sharif in a press conference in USA.

Nawaz Sharif said that he was committed towards increasing terrorist activities not only in Pakistan but also in India and other countries. He also graduated his support and never ending love towards Lashkar e Taiba Chief Hafiz Saeed at one more level.

"I told India's Prime Minister Dr. Manmohan Singh that I only obey to my inner sense and Hafiz Bhaijaan and I am more and more committed to insanity, violence and inhumane approach towards my native Pakistanis and Indian citizens. This way I will remove dim-witted peace loving citizens who only like some stupid ideas such as peace and sanity. Thus by supporting more and more lunatic terrorists and killing thousands of people in Pakistan and India I will be very happy," said Nawaz sharif.

He said "Manmohan Singh then told me 'Theek Hai'."

Taking hard stance on the internal policies of the respective countries, India's Prime Minister Dr. Manmohan Singh and Pakistan's Prime Minister Nawaz Sharif will discuss about their adamant masters. Both the premiers of each country were eager to meet to share various issues and problems with each other.

"Both of them will talk each other in the UN General Assembly meeting about how they have been screwed beyond limits by their masters," said a press release of Prime Minister's Office of India.

According to sources, Manmohan Singh was desperate to meet Nawaz Shariff despite one of the worst fidayeen attacks on Kashmir Police yesterday. The PMO official confirmed that both were eager to see each other and share the burden of slavery they faced for some time.

"Nawaz Sharif wanted to share how he was screwed by Military and terrorists. He also wanted to discuss on his illegitimate relations with Hafiz Saeed that would not stop him from discussing on peace process with India," said official of PMO.

They will hug each other and will cry on each other's shoulders, said sources familiar with the developments. According to sources in Pakistan, Nawaz Sharif has taken entire list of his complaints and grievances about his master Pakistan military and terrorists while Manmohan Singh will talk the recent degradation of his job by his lady master and her super human son.

"Both will have a very cordial but still emotional meet. While today Manmohan Singh will take some inspiration from US President Barack Obama on how to solve problems with sheer guts and how to spit, tomorrow he will have sentimental love exchange with Nawaz Sharif," said PMO official.

A panel spearheaded by well known intellectual and economist, Sanjay Jha is day and night working on finding ways to prove Rahul Gandhi's caliber and his immense need to India. The panel has already introduced media notes like Rahul Gandhi blasted on lazy Congress politicians or asked political leaders to speak in tandem with party manifesto.

"We are constantly working on the media notes that will show how Rahul Gandhi is changing the entire canvas of Congress Party and India," said Sanjay Jha, head of the panel in different planetary accent.

Sanjay Jha told India Satire correspondent that Congress President Sonia Gandhi has recruited the task force under his leadership so that people who don't know what is happening in the party and how Rahul is leading would get a gist. He also said that it would be difficult for Rahul to do all these things but it always make sense to at least give idea to voters that what he can do.

"Our sense is that Rahul can do all these things such as he can discipline stupid Congress political leaders. He can ask them to keep their mouth shut or he can tell them to work in line with party or go. In our view, ideally Rahul can easily make different strategies against his archrival Narendra Modi like telling Congress leaders to don't pay him much attention or attack on him in Gujarat whenever he is on rally in different states. We also consider points like Rahul is so much visionary that he can suggest India's Prime Minister various new ways of reducing poverty and bringing equality. We also think that as a best leader to the country, Rahul can be stricter to his allies such as Sharad Pawar's Nationalist Congress Party by saying Congress can wipe it out from Maharashtra. So after considering all these points we either put words in his mouth or directly provide them to media," said Sanjay Jha.

Sanjay Jha also told India Satire correspondent that apart from finding out the ways to show Rahul's caliber the panel is also working out the ideas that will prove how Rahul Gandhi is for India.

"We are going to put some emotional lines in Rahul's mouth such as he will stop going from flight till every aam aadmi affords air fare. He will stop watching cinema till every Indian family would have Indian home theatre," said Sanjay Jha.

Office located in Delhi came under severe depression as the only beautiful lady resigned from her job. The entire office, which includes its walls, furniture, computers and air conditioners, expressed its sadness on the sexy girl's resignation and one-month notice.

"We will feel dry and fry whenever she leaves the organization. I can't find any solution to overcome my grim," said PC-11, a computer which directly faces her. The computer always used to stare at the girl whenever she focuses on her work.

"I will miss her beautiful fingers which were gently typing my keyboard like caressing some butter. I was most envied computer but now I would be most unfortunate one," said sobbing and crying PC-11.

The wall which was just opposite the girl's deck said that it also feels that the girl's resignation will increase the dryness of the office.

The wall said "I witnessed people were staring at her while she was staring at me, thinking something. I was the only place which gave her so many ideas. Now I don't know who will come on her place or it would remain empty."

Air conditioner which was the closest to the girl said that it would be saddest day whenever she leaves the office.

"Touching her beautiful face with my delicate breeze and having a cool and bubbly chat with her for throughout the day was such a lovely experience. I was always been naughty with others but gentle with that lovely chick. I was flirt with other girls and ladies in the office but truly romancing with her. But now I don't know how I would manage to stay in the office," said the air conditioner.

"I had always been a thirsty to see her whenever she came to meet the boss," said Boss's cabin "I used to see her like someday she would ask me to come to date. But gosh! That day never came. Many times I indicated her that I feel lonely in spite of such a big family and wanted to one friend which can be mine always. But she never understood. I think she used to see me like an old age guy who could only be respected."

Another computer PC-15 which was handled by her colleague said "I was in love with her beautiful face and really sexy figure. Just because of continuous focus on her I was lacking in productivity. My RAM was using 90% memory on her while rest was just behaving as I was working. But now I don't know how I will manage to do that 10% work as well. I will miss her so much that my 100% RAM utilization would continuously watch at her empty chair hoping that she would come again."

Gujarat Chief Minister and BJP's PM candidate, Narendra Modi told Indian reporters that when he first time became the CM of Gujarat he was hardly 10 years old. However, for the sake of eligibility criteria fixed by Indian legislation he hid the information.

"I was just 10 years old when I became CM of Gujarat. I want to ask UPA Government, when a 10 year old child can transform Gujarat in only 10 years to become one of the most developed states in India what stops the government to take developmental steps," said Narendra Modi, addressing people in Gujarat.

Narendra Modi recently claimed that in NDA's term India saw an average GDP growth of 8.4% while according to Central Statistical Organisation it was around 6%. UPA ministers, including Finance Minister P Chidambaram blasted on him for providing fake data.

However, sticking to his 'Rambo' claims Modi questioned the capabilities of the UPA ministers which have crossed average age of 60-70 years. He said that when such experienced people can't take India on the right path then who would take it. He said that he was CM of Gujarat due to BJP's strategy to promote fresh talent.

Modi said "BJP always seek for hardcore young talent and therefore the party stalwarts like Advaniji, Vajpayeeji came to me asking to lead the state when I was going to school. However, I only asked them whether I would be able to carry out such a big responsibility on my short shoulders. But adamant to their beliefs both of them asked me to carry the responsibility however with only a condition to glue white beard and white hair so that Indian legislatures should not know my real age. But guys I am still less than half of the age of Rahul Gandhi and making such miracles. Think now a 20 year old guy who would be PM of India what kind of wonders he would do."

According to sources, to answer Modi's another Rambo claims Congress Party leaders are thinking to show Rahul Gandhi of 5 years old still making wonders.

According to sources, Telecom Minister Kapil Sibal's wife threw him out of his house for entire night yesterday on burning issue of onion prices. The sweeper of Kapil Sibal's home said that Sibal was thrashed, slapped hard and punched before thrown out of house by his wife.

"Yesterday evening when Kapil Sibal came from his court hearings and party meetings, Promilaji (his wife) questioned him over rising onion prices. But Kapil Saahib said her that he is not the right authority to discuss on food prices, particularly onion prices. Those matters should be directly discussed with onion traders as the government has privatized onion selling many years back. When Promilaji told him that her housing budget has been squeezed for past few days because of continuous rise in onion prices, Sibal Saahib said that the government doesn't sell onions, it only sells Akash Tablets and food grains such as rice, wheat and daal at Rs1, 2 and 3 per kg, respectively. So stop asking these sorts of fucking questions and go to onion traders and ask them directly," said Kisanchand Yadav, a sweeper who was privy to the entire event.

Yadav said "Promilaji immediately slapped on Sibal Saahib's face, punched him hard on his mouth and asked him to leave immediately. She held him with his collar and told him that he could be a big hypocrite politician outside her house but inside she is Soniaji. Then she kicked him hard and threw out of house and told him stay here for entire night. Don't show me your bloody arrogant face again."

According to sources which include security guard, Kapil Sibal spent entire night sleeping on the staircase of house like a poor innocent kid. However, in the morning as soon as his road to enter in the house was cleared by his wife, he changed his innocent kid like face into same arrogant and careless politician.

India's Defence Minister AK Antony confirmed that China's encroachment in the Indian border of 640 sq km area is under Free Land Intrusion Scheme (FLIS) specially designed for the neighboring countries aimed to improve relations with them. He was addressing the media before his speech in Lok Sabha.

"FLIS is specially designed for neighbor countries to improve the relations with them. This was a landmark scheme introduced by UPA Government which will solve all border disputes. Under this scheme we offer our border land to neighbor countries. Currently, only China and Bangladesh are eligible for the scheme," said AK Antony.

He said that currently the government is in demo mode of the scheme and therefore it was not willing to disclose it in the public. AK Antony was talking about the recent media reports referring to National Security Advisory Board's observation that China has captured 640 sq km of Indian territory in Daulat Beg Oldie and other sectors in Ladakh. The neighbor country is not allowing patrolling to Indian army in the occupied area.

"As the scheme is under demonstration stage we maintained very high confidentiality and never discussed with Indian Army therefore all this confusion is. But we are very sure that the cross border terrorism is now a matter of time with introduction FLIS," said AK Antony.

Talking about the benefits of FLIS, AK Antony said "Border disputes are very sensitive issue and the media always sensationalize it and therefore we decided to launch an innovative scheme. Under this scheme, all our neighbor countries are welcome to capture the land in India for free of charge but with a condition that they will have to maintain good relations with us. Now if China wants New Delhi, they can come and take over it we have no issues. Only thing is that the country has to maintain peaceful and good relations with India."

The minister said currently China and Bangladesh are getting these special benefits while Pakistan and other countries are out of its ambit.

"Pakistan has requested for these benefits and asked us to give Kashmir to them. But they are still non committal about giving us most favored nation (MFN) status and improving ties," said AK Antony.

Answering questions of reporters whether neighbor countries are eligible for the benefits of land acquisition bill, AK Antony said "Yes they are eligible. If any industrialist wants to set up factory on the land encroached by our beloved neighbor it will have to pay 4 times the market value of the land."

Following the lines of successful Parliament session on Wednesday, Times Now Anchor Arnab Goswami decided to meet all the panelists 1 hour before the debate so that it would reach to at least some conclusion. Prime Minister Manmohan Singh on Monday had called opposition leaders LK Advani, Sushma Swaraj and Arun Jaitley requesting them to stop shouting and rhetoric so that session would be conclusive and passes at least few pending bills.

"I am inspired. I am inspired the way UPA Government shut the mouths of its opposition leaders, cleared the pending Pension Bill and took the entire session to some final result. So, without politicizing it I want to call all the panelists in front of me before the debate starts and ask them to accept whatever I comment upon or whatever judgment I give without shouting or creating noise. I want to make every debate achieve a final result," said Arnab Goswami.

Arnab is charged for creating unnecessary rhetoric and pushing some inconclusive debates on his audiences. Many have committed suicides just because he could not reach to any conclusion and let the question remain unanswered.

"That's ridiculous. My Pappa had a severe heart attack a day before when he was waiting for a result in Vanzara's letter debate. He thought that panelists would agree at least on a point that either Modi should be arrested or Congress is creating conspiracy against him, but the entire debate on Vanzara's letter was utterly confusing and indecisive," said Pappu Pandey who along with his father everyday watches News Hour on Times Now with a lot of hopes.

Arnab refused to take blame on himself that he is not competent to carry the entire debate and reach to a point.

"I don't agree that I can't carry out debates properly. It is the panelists who don't accept my remarks. They only dodge and divert my attention to something else. Therefore, I have decided right now to manmohan (meaning: to meet) all panelists before the debate and strictly ask them that even if they want to shout during the debate they are allowed but all of them will have to agree whatever I am saying and reach to a point that I give. Why can't they bjping (meaning: to reach at a conclusion even if you don't agree)?"

India's Prime Minister Dr. Manmohan Singh found loudly crying, sobbing and literally lamenting in the bathroom after he completed his speech in the Parliament, according to sources who were present there at the time of incidence.

"Just after he came from Lok Sabha, he immediately started crying loudly, roaring like an animal, mourning himself for what not reasons, even he forgot to remove his specs when he was splashing his face hard with cool water," said Manishankar, head of sweepers of Lok Sabha toilets.

Dr. Manmohan Singh gave a speech on falling rupee and worsening economic condition in the Lok Sabha after a lot of insistence by opposition parties. However, he immediately left the session after he completed his speech, leaving the opposition leaders clueless.

"That was his arrogance. Rather than answering opposition leader's queries he left the session," said BJP leader Yashwant Sinha unknown to the fact.

 "Just when he entered in the bathroom, he immediately started slapping himself, abusing for his soft stand on economy and grumbling over his silent approval to food security and land acquisition bill. I saw him saying that how can he deviate from the basic fundamental economic principles just because Madamji told. He also said that this way he was not just cheating India but his economics and also to Madamji who doesn't understand a single word of logic let forget economics. Then he started crying loudly, roaring and thrashing mirror," said the eye witnesses of the entire incident, sweepers Manish and Kapil. 

It is strange but true. Congress Vice President Rahul Gandhi is working on the right policy for Indian economy to revive it in next 20-25 years, said a senior Congress leader.

"He is drafting a policy that will be comprehensive, inclusive and best for the Indian economy. It will lead us to a high growth trajectory that we wanted since last 60 years," said Congress General Secretary Digvijay Singh.

Digvijay Singh was talking about Rahul's talent in economic policy making and drafting best possible financial framework.

"He himself had drafted food security bill, NREGA bill and restaurant bill in Shetty's Restaurant," said Digvijay Singh who told that that Shetty was aam aadmi who wanted to understand how the micro economic policy framework attracts more and more customers in his restaurant.

"Rahul suggested him of embossing Soniaji's photo on restaurant bills and rename his Hotel Durga Prasad to Rajiv Gandhi Sasta Khana Sthal and see the way his business gets boost. Now his hotel is a great example for people who want to turnaround their sagging business successfully," said Digvijay Singh. He said that the time when Shetty embossed Sonia's photo and renamed the hotel to Rajiv Gandhi the business saw a robust growth as everybody came to the restaurant with expectations of cheap food.

Digvijay Singh said "He is going to implement same policies in the Indian economy. As a first step to long term stability of Indian economy, he advised us to rename India as 'Rajiv Gandhi Country With Free Offers' to attract foreign director investors who are searching for cheap destination to park their money. It will reduce current account deficit and boost rupee. Even Finance Minister P Chidambaram was shocked with his knowledge of economy."