In an unprecedented event at News Hour Tonight, Times Now Editor Arnab Goswami's head blasted and blood splattered across the studio and on panelists after no one gave him the straight replies.

"It was really a sad event when Arnab Goswami's head with full of unanswered questions blasted like an atomic bomb and blood splashed everywhere. Each of the panelists who were present in the studio immediately soaked with blood and different parts of Arnab's brain after blast," said a source present at the time of the shocking event happened.

The source said that Arnab's brain was full of questions on a very serious security related issue. However, panelists present at the discussion were dodging all his questions and raised few new which were totally unrelated to core topic.

"Just 10 minutes before the end of show, his head gathered so many question and became red hot like an iron rod in fire. Finally, when Maroof Raza who was there at studio started making closing remarks, Arnab's head boomed with a big noise like dhadaaam dhoooom and all the blood spitted on Maroof's face and on his coat. Scared Maroof was immediately moved from that place and took to bathroom. Currently, we are gathering different parts of Arnab's brain and trying to encode his questions which were unanswered," said the source.

The source however, confirmed that gathering uncountable questions from Arnab's head will take months. When India Satire correspondent reached to panelists asking them who were responsible for the blast, they ducked away from the topic and held each other responsible.

Following the lines of successful Parliament session on Wednesday, Times Now Anchor Arnab Goswami decided to meet all the panelists 1 hour before the debate so that it would reach to at least some conclusion. Prime Minister Manmohan Singh on Monday had called opposition leaders LK Advani, Sushma Swaraj and Arun Jaitley requesting them to stop shouting and rhetoric so that session would be conclusive and passes at least few pending bills.

"I am inspired. I am inspired the way UPA Government shut the mouths of its opposition leaders, cleared the pending Pension Bill and took the entire session to some final result. So, without politicizing it I want to call all the panelists in front of me before the debate starts and ask them to accept whatever I comment upon or whatever judgment I give without shouting or creating noise. I want to make every debate achieve a final result," said Arnab Goswami.

Arnab is charged for creating unnecessary rhetoric and pushing some inconclusive debates on his audiences. Many have committed suicides just because he could not reach to any conclusion and let the question remain unanswered.

"That's ridiculous. My Pappa had a severe heart attack a day before when he was waiting for a result in Vanzara's letter debate. He thought that panelists would agree at least on a point that either Modi should be arrested or Congress is creating conspiracy against him, but the entire debate on Vanzara's letter was utterly confusing and indecisive," said Pappu Pandey who along with his father everyday watches News Hour on Times Now with a lot of hopes.

Arnab refused to take blame on himself that he is not competent to carry the entire debate and reach to a point.

"I don't agree that I can't carry out debates properly. It is the panelists who don't accept my remarks. They only dodge and divert my attention to something else. Therefore, I have decided right now to manmohan (meaning: to meet) all panelists before the debate and strictly ask them that even if they want to shout during the debate they are allowed but all of them will have to agree whatever I am saying and reach to a point that I give. Why can't they bjping (meaning: to reach at a conclusion even if you don't agree)?"

Indian media reacted positively on suspended Gujarat Deputy Inspector General of Police D.G. Vanzara's emotional and touchy resignation letter accusing Gujarat Chief Minister Narendra Modi's involvement in fake encounter case. Most of them congratulated each other, distributed sweets and threw late night parties.

"Great day! Just having fun tonight with my Old Monk. Bored with same old stories like rapes, social issues and UPA scams but now the new life and new hike in packages with most lucrative issue called Narendra Modi," said Rajdeep Sardesai, Chief Editor of CNN IBN.

"Whooopi! Bored of same old intellectual and sensible things for many days… thanks Vanzara, you stay there in jail and we shall stray on the roads of Gujarat. (On Twitter) Now get lost you troll Internet Hindus," Sagarika Ghose of CNN IBN.

"We had the copy of Vanzara's letter since 2002. That time NDTV was the first one to show it in media," said Srinivasan Jain of NDTV.

"Good collections this quarter. Increase ad rates and work hours," said owner of TOI, Vineet Jain.

"He could have settled it for 2-3 crore rupees, miser," said Tehelka's Neeta Tejpal.

"Nation demands an answer Mr. Vanzara, why are you writing such a long 10 page letter now, after 10 years," Arnab Goswami, Times Now.

After consistent disruptions in both the houses of Parliament, UPA Government decided to give a special invite as a speaker to Times Now Editor and Anchor of News Hour Arnab Goswami. While UPA minister confirmed that the government has sent him a request, Arnab is yet to clear the air on the development.

"It is fuckingly irritating yaar. Every day, Parliament is disrupted by opposition party leaders and important bills like food security is stuck up. Both the speakers are helpless as like Manmohanji. We require somebody who can aggressively moderate the session and keep it going on. Arnab Goswami is perfect for that job. Though, we don't like that guy much because of the way he shouts on us it is fine for us to tolerate him for rest of the session. So that at least to clear the food security bill we can try this option," said Telecom Minister and idea originator Kapil Sibal.

Arnab Goswami is famous for his moderating skills and completing the discussion significant for the nation in only 1 hour. While many Congress leaders like Bhakta Charan Das and Abhishek Manu Singhvi who were victimized by Arnab Goswami initially were against the idea. However, for the sake of poor people in India they finally gave their consent.

However, Arnab has not yet accepted the offer. Kapil Sibal said "If he doesn't accept the offer we shall move Parliament to Times Now studio. Somehow, we want to stop opposition leaders for talking more than 2minutes and 15 seconds."

Finally after years of torture to Indian politicians, particularly MPs and ministers of UPA Government, India's finance minister decided to charge 'shouting tax' on Times Now editor-in-chief Arnab Goswami with retrospective effect. The government is also planning to bring Anti-Shouting Bill in the next session of Parliament to shut mouths of other Indians and opposition leaders.

"This will be a good for our tax kitty," said Congress MP and one of the victims of Arnab Goswami's shouting torture Mr. Bhakta Charan Das.

He said that the tax will cover the bizarre kind of interruptions and rhetoric created by Arnab in the name of the nation.

"We really want to thank Mr. P Chidambaram for penalizing him with shouting tax. This is the only way to save politicians and take some money in the system. It was highly irritating when he used to shout on us, constantly interrupting while we were talking some sense. How can this guy stops us from fooling the nation? How so ridiculous! He was tarnishing our birth right of fooling Indians," said Sanjay Jha, Congress Spokesperson.

P Chidambaram confirmed that Arnab Goswami was constantly shouting since many years, adding to the noise pollution and needs to be taxed on retrospective basis.

"We will calculate all the decibels of his noises, interruptions he made between the talks of our sensible and intelligent leaders and will slap shouting tax on him. As there is no law on noise pollution created for human voices, we decided to introduce this new kind of tax in current Parliamentary session," said P Chidambaram.

Chidambaram said "Because of Arnab's shout we already have lost crores of rupees in carbon credit and that deficit he will have to pay. After Goswami, I want to bring many others under its ambit through Anti-Shouting Bill."

In a bold attempt that will restore faith of people in Indian journalism, Times of India (TOI) reporter entered highly dangerous and life threatening Ahmedabad city in Gujarat. The brave reporter clicked few photos and wrote a big story showing the reality of the life in the worst city of India. Honouring the reporter, TOI covered his story on Saturday's front page.

"It was really life threatening experience for me. Nobody in India wants to go to terrible Ahmedabad. Every journalist fears about the barbarian Ahmedabad city and the way they kill innocent people, visitors and journalists. It is just like one of the dreaded cities in Somalia," said India's leading news paper Times Of India journalist Parth Shastri who covered one of the important news on Saturday.

Brave Reporter Parth Shastri

The journalist visited Ahmedabad, which is famous for communal violence and serial killings. Also the city is totally underdeveloped and the people there live in barbarian lifestyle. The city is one of the only few cities in Gujarat that is managed by 'maut ka saudagar' Narendra Modi, informed a source in the Indian media circle.

"I saw only few shopping malls and highways. There are hardly 10s of cinema theaters, also not all the people travel by cars. They use cheap public transport vehicles like buses, auto rickshaws and taxis. Such a dreadful lifestyle I haven't covered in my life. Just look at the story which I brought in front of the world, that one insane management of shopping mall charged 20 rupees from a minority community," said Shastri.

According to journalists association, no media reporter has ever visited Gujarat or specifically Ahmedabad since last 11 years due to fear of life. Therefore people of other parts of India were totally unaware about the situation in Gujarat. However, with the courage of Parth Shastri who covered in and out of Ahmedabad, the association believes that many people will now dare to go to Gujarat.

"That was really brave efforts, even media persons like Rajdeep and Barkha should learn few lessons from Parth. We salute Parth for visiting Ahmedabad and showing us barbarian act of Gujarat Government," said a press release of journalists association.

According to sources, TOI owner Vineet Jain personally recommended editor for covering the story on front page. UPA Government is planning to nominate Parth Shastri to Padma awards.

In a shocking development, India's common man Pappu Pandey deliberately reduced volume of TV set while watching India's most popular debate show 'The Newshour' on Times Now.

"It was very saddening to see our patriotism and nationalism feelings are desiccating day by day," said Champak Ramanujan, a political analyst and ardent follower of the Newshour debate and its anchor Arnab Goswami.

He said "Reducing volume of TV set was OK, but when it was Arnab who was shouting and yelling from his belly just to get answers to our question was really disturbing and shows no sense of patriotism."

Arnab Goswami was discussing on Modi's statement that he was 'the Hindu Nationalist'. While the subject was very hot and related to nationalism, political analysts were expecting that the common man of India Pappu Pandey would keenly participate in it as an audience. However, according to information leaked by internal source of Pappu's house, when Arnab started questioning Pappu immediately reduced volume, many times he also muted the television.

"That fucking guy was shouting at thousands of decibel levels, creating a serious nuisance to my ears and head. I immediately reduced the volume as still even today at least I have control over my TV remote," said Pappu Pandey.

All the news media channels are searching for images that depict sad and tired Lal Krishna Advani and devilish and ultra energetic Narendra Modi. According to sources, most of the online searches are jammed by online news media.

"We want to show Advani as a lost martyr like Bhishma Pitamah and Narendra Modi like Duryodhan," said a reporter of NDTV, requesting anonymity. He said that entire crew is working on a narration showing Bhishm Pitamah lost against in house Duryodhan Narendra Modi while Arjun Rahul Gandhi is marching ahead.

"These days getting exclusive photograph is a difficult task. We actually earlier thought that paying some bucks to both these leaders and give us an exclusive pose. However, currently they are on a high so we thought to cancel this idea," said the reporter.

Talking about the narration, he said "The script is ready. Injured Bhishma Pitamah threw himself out of the battlefield for Arjun Rahul Gandhi. Now the question is, will Rahul Gandhi kick Duryodhan Narendra Modi out of the battle field."

Both News print and television media is busy in searching more cruel and highly vampirish photo of Narendra Modi to regain the confidence of majority Indians, according to the sources.

"Majority of Indians represented by Congress men believe that Narendra Modi is Maut ka Saudagar and Yamraj still he is getting so much popularity. Media is also concerned over rising popularity of Modi," said the source.

According to estimates presented by Congress Party President in its annual conference, Congress Party represents 98% of Indians while rest 2% is communal and goes with BJP. Still ever growing popularity of Modi amazes them.

"Indian memory is very short and they forgot that we recently described Modi as Yamraaj and just few years back as Maut ka Saudagar," said Congress Spokesperson and part time minister Manish Tewari.

According to sources, most of the media including news print and TV channels are searching for some brutal picture of Narendra Modi to let people know that this man is like vampire.

"I am concern about Indian people and as a journalist who knows the fact that this guy was a real demon, I am not able to do anything," said Rajdeep Sardesai, Editor in Chief of CNN IBN.

He said "Even I came to know that all journos are searching for the real face of Modi in which he looks like a blood eating vampire."

Only one news paper was succeeded in finding a photo which shows Modi in atrocious mood. The photo on Economic Times news paper shows that a bunch of bees are finding honey from his white beard and Modi was laughing (as shown in the article).

"Yes that's true we are also searching for such kind of photo so that we will represent his actual face in front of the world in our Breaking News program," said Rajat Sharma of India TV.

NEWS IN BRIEF - TERRORISM

A heated debate on NDTV show 'Is it time to debate the death penalty' finally reached a conclusion. All the experts unanimously agreed to 25000 as a minimum number of death toll by terrorist to consider as a death penalty from him.

All the experts said "We are agreed to the number 25000 which shows a mild intensity of terrorist attack and therefore a Judge can start whether to consider the case for death penalty. Our suggestion is echoed by our great and honorary investors from Gulf in Indian media."

The debate started after NDTV considered terrorist Ajmal Kasab's mercy plea before hanging when he said "Allah kasam, maaf kar do. Chhod do, aisi galti dobara nahin hogi." Anchor said that her eyes were wet when she saw the news.

The panelists also suggested that if the death number is below 200, the terrorist should let go to his home considering the negligible or very small harm to the society.

"Why should we take the law made by the God? Let him sort the things out in the heaven or hell," said an associate editor of The Hindu, who was present in the debate.

Sources said that before reaching to conclusion the anchor received a phone call from Saudi Arabia.

Special Note: Panelists disclosed that they have no stake in the terrorism, as none of their family members have died or injured in any kind of bomb blast, gun shootout or terrorist activity.

TOP STORY - TERRORISM

However, many other journalists and editors gave same comments creating copy right issue

City news editor from a famous news channel expressed his displeasure and huge amount of sadness over Kasab's execution and also showed that entire news media support the innocent Kasab for getting injustice by the Indian Government. He expressed his views in line with other city based journalists, editors and reporters who expressed their displeasure on Kasab's death.

Seating in a bar with a glass of Old Monk, the City News Editor, representing one of the top News Channels of India said "Why did Government execute him? That poor and innocent baby, why did it take such an extreme step?"

Taking each and every sip of Old Monk with heavy heart, the editor said "Killing common man is so common and acceptable even by a terrorist, but why special guy like Kasab who just visited India (sob sob)?"

The comment came in line with the reactions from many editors and India's news media journalists who expressed their immense displeasure on the justice of execution.

IBN Lokmat editor Nikhil Wagle said "Kasab gone, but the world is full of extremists and idiots." Former Executive Editor of The Hindu, Malini Parthasarathy, said "Kasab hanged. How does legal sanction for retaliatory murder redeem the savagery of what is in essence an "eye for an eye" act of revenge?" (Special Note: Indian Government took a note on Malini's statement and is recommended for Noble Peace Prize).

According to FirstPost, writer and activist Meena Kandasamy was acidulous when she said: "feel sorry for the Indian tricolour. heartfelt condolences" while Newsweek International editor Tunku Varadarajan alluded to the paradoxical delivery of justice in the country: "India hangs man responsible for killing hundreds of Mumbaikars days after it lauds man responsible for killing thousands". His hashtags in the tweet were the giveaway as to whom he referred to.

However, City Editor said that he was original in his thought and always felt sorry for Kasab inside his thought. He also raised copy right related issues and told that the originality is important. Even while words can be different if the theme is copied it should also be considered as breach of copy right.

He said "These people copied my theme."

Giving his grave smile, he said "That Malini Parthasarathy is totally copy paste editor what the fu*k eye for an eye thing. Boss I give you original stuff. A terrorist can rape me, he can strip me and he also can kill me but don't take revenge, don't punish him and late him live peacefully."

The Editor completing his statement said "I always told myself that Kasab should not be hanged. I was the first who immediately after Police captured him in 26-11 massacre told my mind that this guy, this guy should not be hanged and therefore I was the first and the most original in thinking such way."

NEWS IN BRIEF - MEDIA

Special courses in Extortion and Blackmailing in demand

After creating a dumb impression among the top Indian news channels, Zee TV has become a significant example for avoiding stupid people in the work force. Many Indian news channels said that they plan to select the candidates which are extraordinarily skillful in recognising trap,  effectively and intelligently handling the 'extortion' and 'blackmailing' and great skills to become invisible at a time when somebody is holding secret camera on them.

"Zee's example is a total eye washer for us," said Prannoy Roy, Executive Co-Chairperson of NDTV.

He said "We will be more and more cautious now in selecting candidate. How is it possible that somebody of the caliber of editor gets trapped while asking for some small extortion money? That's too ridiculous to hear. I really feel slapping Zee's Editor who caught on a camera, what he had to do with the other guys. Stupid guy yaar."

Roy blamed Zee News Editor Sudhir Chaudhary and Zee Business Editor Samir Ahluwalia for showing dumbness and exposing the lucrative business side of the Indian media.

"Candidate will have to undergo stringent test of my 'Aap ki Adalat' kind of interview, going forward. Then only we will elect him as an editor or journalist," said Rajat Sharma of India TV.

He said "Otherwise, we will not keep the speed of the breaking news that we show every 5 minutes."

Media is also expected to select candidates from IIMs and IITs which have power to get change their faces or scanner in their head which identifies the sting cameras or even ability to get invisible whenever somebody starts secret camera. Channels are also demanding special course in Extortion and Blackmailing from these institutes.

"Only after identifying on such merits, we will select the candidate," said Rajdeep Sardesai, Chief Editor of CNN IBN.

The media is also shocked after the world saw their secret side of legitimate revenues from extortion and blackmailing. Media is also questioning whether it was right to show every segment of revenue, which is not really mandatory these days, according to SEBI.

Government to import these kind of ships for Indian media journalists