Calling God 'REGRESSIVE FOR WOMEN', Mallika Sherawat said that she feels depressing when she looks at strange body structure of women.

"God is so depressing and irritating that I really can't make any statement. He made such a stupid body structure for women that if you remove some parts here and there women would look like men only. Whenever I revisit my body in the full mirror I really feel depressing. What is this? Why boobs are on the front side of body and bumps (buttocks) are on back side of body? What does this means? Any creative person who has at least some sense of beauty would have placed it in other way," said Mallika Sherawat in a TV Interview in Los Angeles.

She recently condemned India for regressive about women and also said that she was the first to introduce kiss in India. She also said that whenever she lives in America she enjoys social freedom but when she comes to India she feels depressing.

Talking more about women body and God's ridiculous imaginary vision, she said "But now enough is enough. I am going bring the wave of change as I brought it to India. I am going to restructure my body. I will be first to introduce it to world and expose this hypocritical God the idea of beauty. I am going to put my bumps on front side of my body from its current place on the back side."

Romanian TV actress Iulia Vantur started practicing of turning into punching before marrying to Bollywood actor Salman Khan. That was the first condition Salman put in front of Iulia for marriage. Though, Salman's father Salim Khan denied any development about Salman's marriage, sources fr0m Romania suggests that Iulia is visiting Boxing Academy on daily basis.

"Yes that is the main criteria if you want to marry Salman Bhai. He is fond of punching real person so it may be man or woman. We have already told Iulia to get ready and practice of becoming great punching bag in front of any well known Romanian boxer," said Salman's brother Arbaaz Khan.

Iulia told our Romania reporter that she was working hard and practicing 100 punches daily on her face from a famous Romanian boxer.

"That is a smart increase from 80 to 100 in a week," said Iulia "That too without any helmet or mask."

Apart from getting hit on face with solid punches, Iulia has to practice how the punches should not be revealing to India audience.

"By hitting hard on her face I am also converting it into a stone so that scratches or marks would not be reflected," said Iulia's boxer Constantin Bejenaru.

Another brother of Salman, Sohail Khan said "Bhai has habit to hit on our faces since his childhood. We were like his punching bags for him. Look at our faces, they look like fried pakodas just because his solid punches," Sohail showed his and Arbaaz's face and continued "That what he wants from his new bride. Now whether she makes it or not depends on her learning skills."

Pope Francis is himself going to honour Ranbir Kapoor with highest Saint Gobain Peace and Humility Award for his revering contribution to humility, humbleness, soft spoken approach and kind attitude. The never been rude and selfless Saint like Ranbir Kapoor thanked God and Pope for thinking him that he deserves such a height to be honoured with the Award. After the honour, Ranbir Kapoor will be recognised as Saint Ranbir Kapoor for entire his life.

"We selected Ranbir for his gallant attitude. We went through speeches and quotes of various personalities last one year, scrupulously and selected Ranbir's name for the honour," said a judge at the Vatican City.

Ranbir Kapoor is popular in showing meekness and humbleness towards his co-workers and entire world. His popular quotes in last one year, include "I am nothing, just an insect" "Every other thing is much significant than me" and currently most popular one "I got the opportunities and my stardom is part of my characters. I don't have a personality like Salman Khan or Shah Rukh Khan that I can be myself and be successful."

Pope Francis confirmed that he was just like Ranbir Kapoor in his young age. He said that Ranbir is almost giving same self-effacing facial expressions with dumb looks as like Pope was giving. Pope also confirmed that he was the similar kind of passionate performer-sans-actor-sans-Saint.

"When I saw him first time on the TV ad, I called my cook from kitchen. I asked her look at this guy do you feel some similarity with me? She said yea he is exactly like you are. Looks very humble and sexy," said Pope Francis.

Pope continued "Watching one of his quotes, she said he was exactly same kind of actor as like you were in your young age, everybody used to believe that you were talking true not acting as a humble cow."

He said "I was astonished and immediately decided to meet him. However, due to heavy responsibility of Papal on my shoulder my assistants told me not right time to meet him. Now with the God's grace I am going to meet him. I will bless him fun with many many good looking girls in his young age like I was having and become a true Pope in the old age."

Pope also talked briefly on Ranbir's quotes, he said "I heard all his quotes. They only show that he is the only person who can carry the candle of peace. That is what Christianity told us and what I am also telling you guys. I am servant and you have to serve this servant who is servant of God."

Ranbir Kapoor reacted positively to the honour he received from the Vatican City itself.

He said "I am just below a Cockroach. I never thought myself so big like any common man. I am really surprised with the honour that I am getting. I promise that I will continue to spend entire life degrading myself and showing high regards to others."

Note- Saint Gobain is the name of World's leading Glass manufacturer and this is not the promotional campaign of that company. So don't confuse it with Saint Gobain Glass Company, focus on the name Saint and not Gobain.

Mumbai based 5 year old Pintu pee in his pants after he saw posters of Aurangzeb, demonstrating vampirish and weird looks of new star Arjun Kapoor.

"Yes, my son immediately started peeing in his pant after watching Aurangzeb's poster when I was taking him to the school bus," said Pintu's mummy, Mehta madam.

She observed that Pintu started behaving weird immediately after he saw the upcoming movie's poster, just in front of his society's gate.

"He started screaming and came behind me and started crying. After that I saw his pant was wet. I immediately took him to home and cleaned properly. He told me that he frightened after he saw one uncle's photo that was looking like haunting man. I just assured that he was not a vampire but just an actor who looks like a cruel ghost so no need to worry," told Mrs. Mehta.

After the incident, Indian doctors suggested parents to make the minds of their children for such a horrible experience over next 2 weeks.

After getting a lot of appreciation from critics for showing real taste of life to unaware and illiterate Indians, Karan Johar told India Satire correspondent in exclusive interview "That was my dream. Now I am fulfilled and ready to sacrifice my silly body."

Karan Johar said that he never expected such a great and heartwarming response from critics for showing two assholes kissing and cuddling each other.

"Wow, I didn't really think that critics and movie reviewer would melt after watching my creative take on life. I always had a dream of two fucking idiot assholes smooch each others like dogs and pigs and also wanted to show it to poor illiterate Indian audience, which has no taste of same sex romance. I am really thrilled about the response of reviewers. It took hundreds of retakes and thousand times I had to give them practice to make that scene real. Now you can say that my efforts sucked," said great director.

Talking about why he chose Bombay Talkies for fulfilling his weird dream, the director said "I always wanted to show it in my earlier movies. Even I kept provision for such scene in my every movie but our dumbass audience would have never accepted that. Therefore, finally when I got a movie which was produced by some other producer and that too meant for making it a disastrous flop I thought to go with my dream."

Talking about his caste, he said "Actually, the producer of film had very limited budget and therefore was not able to pay for big asses, which I really wanted to take. Even I recommended a big star and I also asked him that I would work for free with that star, creating the most handsome gay couple of India. But that stupid producer refused only for a paltry reason of paying high amount. He thought that the compensation to that big star could be entire budget of the movie. So finally I chose best of the assholes in Indian cinema."

Finally talking about how his movie was related to Bombay Talkies or Indian cinema, Karan said "Who told you that it was related to Bombay Talkies or Indian Hindi cinema. Fuck guys, that was totally unrelated and just because that dumb producer asked me to relate it in some way to Indian cinema, I had to put 2-3 songs from old movies."