UPA Government is planning to bring 'Law against people with Anti-Poor sentiments' that will enable Indian law makers to punish people who oppose any of government's policies. According to sources, UPA ministers have passed the bill in the cabinet and likely to bring ordinance before winter session of Parliament.

"This is fuck! Any roadside guy comes on media and bashes on government's policies which are always pro-poor. Rather than getting appreciation, these people call us corrupt and stupid for introduction of such policies. That's rubbish. Now we are making it compulsory to all Indians and foreigners to appreciate our policies otherwise face the severe punishment under Law for Anti-Poor," said Telecom Minister Kapil Sibal.

According to sources, Congress Party President Sonia Gandhi set up a high level commission under Kapil Sibal, Salman Khurshid and Ajay Maken to study whether the government can stop anti-poor elements from bashing on government's policies. The sources said that Congress Party is the only party in the world that has synchronized its work with Indian poor for past 60 years. However, the government thinks that some stupid media channels and self called experts and intellectuals had always underrated its policies.

"Nobody in the history of mankind has served poor with so much of flawless love and dedication as much as Congress did. We want to continue to serve poor for at least next 1000 years. Madamji wants to give poor so much of comfort and free money that he would never say he wants to become rich. She wants a situation that poor would like to remain a poor for life. As Rahulji correctly said being poor is just a state of mind and that what we strive to change, we want to change the state of mind of poor," said Ajay Maken.

Maken said "But we have faced severe opposition from people who sits in AC cabin and had never visited poor man's house what Rahulji usually does. Therefore, finally we decided to bring this legislation so that poor will not remain deprived of UPA government's policies."

According to sources, the Act has provision of severe punishment to accused who opposes government's policies in public using his mouth or in his mind by using thought or in his brain through idea. The Act has also included punishment to opposition party leaders who always tried to stand still UPA's pro-poor policies.

"Just yesterday I showed photos of two poor people to Madamji and what I found was tears coming out of her eyes. Now enough is enough, we can't wait to implement this law. Whoever now will oppose her visionary ideas will be considered as anti-poor," said Salman Khurshid.

After Aditi restaurant saga, the UPA Government decided to stop any further 'indirect protests' from restaurant owners and asked them to start gluing photos of Congress President Sonia Gandhi and Rahul Gandhi on food bills to save service tax on food. UPA Government issued urgent notice after few of Congress workers shut Mumbai's Parel based Aditi Restaurant after they found some 'funny', sorry 'defamatory' content about UPA on bills.

"We want to bring discipline in the system otherwise any sundry person will start mocking us," said Congress spokesperson and part time minister Manish Tewari.

He said "The scheme is beneficial to all. All the restaurants bills will carry Madamji and Baba's photos with message about UPA Government's work, like MNREGA, Food Security Act and many other great things. If the restaurant owner put a message mocking BJP, NDA or Narendra Modi, then we will give him a double tax reversal."

According to Finance Ministry official, the new law will put additional burden of Rs 2000 crore on government's financials.

"We plan to bring air tax (tax on breathing) to meet the gap," said the official, requesting anonymity.

Nation sent its demand for more and more fire crackers and scam revelations to new Comptroller and Auditor General of India (CAG) Shashi Kant Sharma to continue momentum developed by Vinod Rai during last 4 years. It asks that Sharma should not slow down ministers bashing till his term ends.

"What a roller coaster ride was that when Vinod Rai was heading CAG," said Pappu, the common man of India.

He said "It was full of fun and entertainment. Every day I am used to reading time pass news about some minister involved in some scam. Wow! I had never heard such big amounts of lakh crores etc. Feels like India is developing and becoming global power. Also bashing ministers on their asses was another fun. Full of time pass. Earlier, I was a bit disappointed to see that Vinod Rai was leaving CAG and thought the momentum would slow down. But I am highly optimist and believe that new CAG Chief would bash more ministers to prove his mettle."

Pappu still recalls how nation was overwhelmed after reading the multi lakh crore scams such as Coal blocks allocation, 2G spectrum allocation, some small scams like CWG and some cheap scamsters like Salman Khurshid involved in chindhi Rs70lakh fraud.