Exclusive Column - Rahul Gandhi

This is my second article on India Satire and I came here with great pride and happiness in my heart. I can't express the sense of pride and happiness filled in my heart. I feel my heart has doubled in size as I have never received such wonderful response to my speech. Thanks to all my well wishers and mentors.

Since yesterday evening I saw millions of congratulatory responses on my speech addressing Dalits. Guys like Sanjay Jha, Sachin Pilot and Ajay Maken personally came to me and congratulated for the wonderful speech I gave yesterday. I was overwhelmed by their gratitude towards me. Today I can say only one thing, today is a 'Jupiter Day' for me. Everybody, from my sweeper to cook everyone congratulated me 'Happy Jupiter's day' since morning. Mummy added more butter to my bread and also gave me extra tikhi chatney for my sandwich.

But the real congratulations came from the India Satire which also suggested some improvement in behavior of my Mummy and my mentors and therefore I decided to share how exactly I thought of those golden words.

Truthful to my heart, I have never spoke in front of great Dalit crowd. I have experience of speaking only in front of aam aadmis but never addressed Dalits of India. Therefore, I was a bit nervous yesterday. I thought what would I say in front of Dalits whether our free food scheme, our MGNREGS or something else. But all those schemes were for aam aadmis and not for Dalits. So I was depressed and couldn't really think of what I should be talking about. Then suddenly I recall Mummy's words. She told me when I was in Trinity College that whenever you feel nervous or depressed whenever you fear of any situation then just close your eyes and recall your Mummy's face and every difficulty will go away every problem will get resolved and you will see the solution in front of you. I did the same thing I closed my eyes and recalled her face and suddenly Shashi Tharoor's face came to my mind. Just one day back he was talking some nonsense that 'Congress Party needs Jupiter's escape velocity for success against Narendra Modi'. And now rest is history!