Rakesh Jhunjhunwala finally bought new clothes on Diwali

01 Nov 2013 / 0 Comments

After some relief from recent stock market rally, big bull investor finally decided to buy new clothes on Diwali. According to sources, he lost all his clothes as his portfolio took a big hit in a big carnage in Indian stock markets that came by July end to August end this year. "Now I am ha

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Published On:Tuesday, 7 May 2013

Studies conducted on how political parties fool voters ahead of elections

Indian political parties and media are conducting extensive studies across the country to find out historical evidences and current trends over how to fool voters ahead of elections. These players are also taking help from independent research agencies to understand changing tastes of Indians.

"Yes! Actually, voter profile is so dynamic that it is difficult to arrive at any conclusion. Yesterday, their demand was something else while now it might have changed dramatically. So fooling these idiots is not that easy and become a big question for all of us," said Senior Congress leader, Digvijay Singh.

Singh said "Fooling can be done by two ways. One is bringing hot topic which is currently discussed by the nation. Second is diverting the attention from the current topic. We think we have mastered in both areas and BJP is far away from us."

Process of Fooling People


Many political parties are taking help from independent research agencies such as AC Nielsen, Tata Strategic Management Group and Sharma Research Institute of Gorakhpur.

"Fooling Indians only on Ram Mandir and religious issue is a bit difficult today. Therefore, we added a flavor of developmental agenda with Narendra Modi," said BJP leader Sushma Swaraj.

However, she still couldn't deny about rising complications over how to fool people.

"See now Congress has played on the cards of corruption in Karnataka. We will play that card across the country but not in Karnataka because fooling Karnataka people from corruption end is not that easy. Elections in different states at different times make things more dynamic and difficult for us," she said.

Different topics occupied space in elections


Largest independent political research agency of Lucknow, Pandey & Tiwari Independent Research said that most of the parties are considering options of using scientific formulae like algorithmic and quant analysis on understanding brains of voters.

"Our esteemed client, Behen Mayawatiji has asked us to find out factors which would be used in election rallies to fix her image as the only savior of the nation and best candidate for Prime Minister. We are judging different areas and apart from her pro-Dalit image trying to give her something super lady kind of ideology," said Dayanand Sharma, CEO of Pandey & Tiwari Independent Research.

"Fooling people is not that easy. Not every time formula like religion or caste will work. Sometimes issues like regional politics, development, corruption and inflation have to be tested," said Yogendra Yadav, politics expert and leader of Aam Aadmi Party.

This time politicians are considering new issues like social media freedom, freedom for watching porn and rising population of rapists.

Experts suggests that next year's general elections will see cut-throat competition between parties over picking up issues that would help them easily fool the people of India.

"90% people vote based on caste and religion what intellectual Markandey Katju told us. He also added that 90% Indians are fools. So based on that theory 81% of Indians can be fooled by using caste & religion factors," said leaders of different political parties unanimously.

Experts also suggest that apart from picking credible issues, political parties with easily diverting the attention from current events also do well in the elections.

Ranks of Political parties with capabilities of diverting attention from real issue





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