Famous for introducing new and new taxes, India's Finance Minister plans to tax on 'Everything'.

While he avoided giving precise details on what exactly everything means, he said "I like to tax, more and more tax on people. I want tax and more tax. This time I will tax everything. Everything means everything. That includes your eating, shitting, bathing and peeing process. If you are using roads to walk to your office or park you will have to pay tax. If you are reading paper in the park you have to pay tax. Right now I don't want to divulge more details. But I am going to tax more and more. More tax on middle class, more subsidies to farmers, poor people and politicians."

Moderate Separatist and Jammu & Kashmir Liberation Front leader Yasin Malik and terrorist leader Hafiz Saeed slammed each other and thrashed each other's nose and mouth in a sad event. Sources said that fight began immediately after Hafiz Saeed asked Yasin Malik to join as a spokesperson of his party Lashkar-e-Taiba, as soon as Kashmir will be free from India.

"Janaab Saeed asked Yasin Miah that why don't he become LeT's chief Spokesperson as soon as India declare Kashmir is azaad. However, Malik Bhaijaan couldn't take his words in positive manner and told him to shut his mouth as he wanted to become Prime Minister of Azaad Kashmir. Malik Bhaijaan also offered Saeed a job of Security Guard at the main doors of his office," said a source who acknowledged the entire event.

Hafiz Saeed came to mourn the execution of Parliament attack conspirator Afzal Guru in Islamabad whne Malik and some of his supporters observed a 24-hour fast in protest of Guru's hanging.

The source said "Hafiz Bhaijaan immediately slapped on Malik's face and asked him to keep quite otherwise would be killed with AK-56 rifle."

The event turned violent after Yasin retaliating Saeed's slap with a strong punch on his nose and told him to stop dreaming about PM ship of Azaad Kashmir otherwise he would be sent to Afzal Guru's place.

"Finally, after a big fight while both were bleeding, supporters of both the leaders came and rescued them," said the source.

Source added "Saeed Bhaijaan left the dais immediately after Malik Saab threatened him that he would call US military and take the bounty offered on Hafeez Janaab."

Pakistan Interior Minister Rehman Malik called this as a miserable event and blamed India for increasing rivalry between Kashmiri fighters.

"This is all Indian conspiracy to create issues between two prominent leaders. I am sure that India's RAW was operating behind the entire event," said Malik.

Indian Post, a Government body for delivering letters, couriers and money orders at cheap costs decided to restructure its working. The Post has taken criticisms over its late delivery of intimation over Afzal Guru's execution to his family very seriously.

"We are serious now. Whatever happened in the past is past and we assure you that Indian Post will be wholly restructured body. We are going to reduce the time line of speed post by at least 75% by appointing a special squad," said Indian Postal Service Chief, Manjula Prashar in an exclusive interview with the India Satire Correspondent.

Recently in a major event, Indian Postal Services lost its face when it delivered speed post intimating Afzal Guru's execution 2 days after he was hanged.

Prashar said "It is difficult to implement new ideas and techniques very fast. However, immediately after the criticisms we appointed KPMG as consultant. They advised us to appoint special squad of Pigeons. We are planning to take help from foreign countries and will buy specially trained pigeons for this critical job. Final announcement will come in next one month."

Share price of Domino's Pizza India franchise, Jubilant Foodworks rose sharply after a rumour flashed in the market that the company offered a free pizza for every investor who buys its share today. The company offered one pizza for 5 shares driving the volume of the stock on both the BSE and the NSE. The stock price reported 1mn volume on the BSE and 4mn on the NSE with a sharp rise of over 9%.

 

Jubilant Foodworks

BSE: 533155 | NSE: JUBLFOOD | ISIN: INE797F01012 | SECTOR: MISCELLANEOUS

 

BSE

Feb 06, 15:58

1137.00

96.25 (+9.25%)

VOLUME  1,064,706

 

After a heart-warming meeting with the rape victim Nirbhaya's parents in Delhi, Congress President Sonia Gandhi asked Ministers to include a special clause in New Rape Law Ordinance that she along with her son Rahul would compulsorily meet each and every rape victim and their parents of the nation.

"I think this way only we will show equality towards sharing the pain of every rape victims of the nation," said Sonia Gandhi in her statement after meeting with Nirbhaya's parents.

She said "Nirbhaya is not the only girl who faced such monstrous activity of rape but every day many Indian girls go from this worst and life taking experience. Now enough is enough, I finally have decided that along with Raul Baba, I will take retirement from politics and will meet each and every girl or woman and her parents till all the rape incidents stop. I also promise of distributing flat to each girl her parents along with cash of Rs 25-30 lakh from my own pocket till I become beggar."

Rahul Gandhi who is known for his selfless work towards the nation and who also expressed his eagerness to give his life to India said that he would be very happy if every day he shares the sorrows of the girls and their parents who face such heinous activity.

"I have no ambition of becoming Prime Minister of India. I am a selfless guy and have nothing to take from anybody. I am with Mummy on this. I am along with all the young Congress leaders and Mummy too will visit each and every girl who faces rape."

Talking on their decision, Senior Congress leader Digvijay Singh said "Even today onwards all the Congress leaders have taken decision. Everybody will resign from their jobs as Madamji and Baba has taken such saintly decision. We assure you all guys that we will also stop raping your minds and brains."

However, the Congress sources are yet to confirm whether Sonia and Rahul's meetings with rape victims are till 2014 elections.