I want to make my 'own CD' - Salman Khurshid

I am totally devastated after my dream of joining some of the few people out there in the country who made huge chunk out of using their enormous amount of power coming from the business of politics shattered on account of unequal distribution of wealth.

The way few people control power in our country and no authority to mango man is a damn fuc*ing idea of a Banana Republic that we follow in our India. It's democracy yaar, every guy is important and every damn fu*king ass hole that is into business of corruption is also significant. Why there are so many layers that billion dollar club of Corrupt People. A Trillion Dollar club of corrupt people, ridiculous!

The idea came into my mind was making a club which would equally give importance to all the people in the business of corruption. It's not like a person with corruption of 71 lakh rupees is any way not significant against a person who made money from deals of more than what a lakh crore rupees.

The reason why I support so much of equality of distribution of wealth can be traced back to yesterday's event that shattered my dream into pieces. Yesterday, with much of hopes I went to join All India Elite Club of Corrupt Politicians (AIECCP) which is represented by guys like Suresh Kalmadi, A Raja and other big wigies. The club's President is A Raja while Sharad Pawar is Vice President. However, misfortunes of my life started from the gate of the club where security guard (ex-Income Tax Revenue Officer) totally tried to avoid me. Despite being an honourable Law Minister of largest democracy in the world he bluntly asked me who I am. Forget anything else. Still humbly, I told him that I was Law Minister Salman Khurshid and recently came into news for making money of around 71 lakh rupees through scam in NGOs. Then that guy allowed me to get into the building.

But life is miserable, these idiots Raja and Kalmadi thrashed all my hopes and put them into a trash bin saying that I am allowed entry in the club if I do a job of waiter or cleaner of building of corruption as my wealth generation was very low compared to them. I was shocked and felt like crap when my old buddies  A.raja  and Kalmadi denied any kind of help accessing the membership of the club. How is it possible that I can't access the club which had members such as Suresh Kalmadi, Laloo yadav, Madhu koda and others? Kalmadi told me "We are buddies, Salman bhai, but we have our own protocol. We follow principles and our minimum membership requirement is 100 crore scam. We can't give elite membership to any mango man who generates a kind of paltry 71 lakhs from corruption. Otherwise, every peon of Government office will seek membership of this club. Better luck next time. Till then keep playing with Rahul baba."

M.koda added "Ayo, better if you spend few months in tihar jail too, it makes CV stronger." Even I can't forget that rude watchman who called me 'low' minister. How shitty! I just left that premise immediately and came back to home with heavy heart and saddened face.

This was the time when I lost all the hopes of getting entry into great popularity in the evil's club of life when my darling wife Louise told me that if one door closes other opens. She told me that politicians are not just corrupt but they are thurkey too. They are nympho. Look at Abhishek, N.D. both have achieved names and powerful statures in the society because of their beliefs in God Shakti Kapoor. Call them up and get entry in that club.

Rising hopes again, I just called N.D.Tiwari, however, his servant told me that he was busy romancing his maid and does not like to get in a mid-way. I then called Abhishek who these days is free and who immediately gave me his helping hand. He said why don't you make your sex portfolio and release few dhasoo CDs to join AITK("All India Thurkey Association") headed by honorable N.D. tiwari and have national elite members like Abhisek manu himself, Swami Nityanand, Gulshan grover, even international elite guest elite members like Ttiger Woods, Shane Warne and Italian ex-President Berlusconi. All these guys are hardcore followers of God Shakti Kapoor. Singhvi also promised to provide assistance of his driver to shoot video and upload it in youtube and make me famous. He also promised me to arrange a meeting with N.D. Tiwari if any tips are required and all the blessings from Shakti Kapoor.

So in the realms of power, I have to be powerful so what if the power I get from eating Viagra or money. The power is power and I have to seek power, if corrupt people don't allow me to get into their club, thurkeys have always opened their arms to hug me to embrace me.

(The story was covered by our Special Correspondent 'Jhyap')