INTERVIEW - SACH MUCH KI KHOL

Promised taking more revenge on audience in this movie as well

He is back, back with vengeance, back with revenge and back with more revenge on audience. He is there to push entire audience in mud and tell them don't dare again to watch my movies filled with high levels of stupidity and absurdity, he is back with more such power. He is Karan Johar, talking exclusively to India Satire film correspondent on his new movie 'Student of the Year' and how the movie is different than its old counter parts.

India Satire Correspondent (ISC): Welcome Karan Johar to India Satire's office. Thanks for giving us time on our cover page 'Sach much ki khol'.

Karan Johar (K-Jo): Hey thanks for inviting me. But please call me K-Jo. That suits well to my NRI audience. They like me to read as K-Jo, as like J-Lo.

ISC: Ahh.. sorry K-Jo! So you must know the rules of this page on India Satire, you have to talk true and can't hide anything.

K-Jo: Yea that what I know and that is why I am here. Talking lie everyday is ridiculous stuff and now you can see my tummy which rose because of accumulated gases of more and more lie. I would love to release them here. Brrrrrr.... and farting loudly.

ISC: Ah ok ok... Please keep your emotions in limit. You can release your words here while gases any way you can release outside the office.

So my first question is how Student of the Year is different from conventional new comer movie which were released 10-20 years back.

K-Jo: Oh not at all. It is not at all different movie. It is same old jerk and stupid story that I have just released in a polished manner. That same ridiculous love triangle and same stupid girl for which two idiots fight each other like, ah as Beni Prasad Verma said dogs barking day and night.

ISC: But don't you think in any love triangle that is the main essence. Fight for your love.

K-Jo: Yea therefore what I am showing is not different from few directors shown in yesteryears.

ISC: But in your earlier interviews you said that you will show drama, emotions, great characters, their acting and great stage of fight for love.

K-Jo: That what I have to tell for promoting any movie otherwise who would have got to see my stupid movie 'My Name Is Khan'. See I spent crores of rupees on the costumes and stupid sets which we have to recover in some way. Take example of My Name Is Khan, one of the worst creations of Indian Cinema in last say 100 years at least. But now how can I say myself that it was worst creation. And believing that audience would not think it as worst creation would have been stupidity. Therefore, what I did was that day I called American Police and told them that this Shahrukh Khan is a terrorist and came to US just to fu*k the brains of all the Americans and American Indians. What had happened next you know better than me?

ISC: But don't you think that there must be something different you might have added in the Student of the Year.

K-Jo: What the f*ck? I haven't given anything different but yea I have improvised myself with this movie. So if you say this movie is improved version of my earlier flicks then I can't deny that.

ISC: Oh improved version! In what sense you are talking? Directional values? Script? Screenplay? or artistes?

K-Jo: No man I can't understand how much a big dickhead you are. See this movie is improvisation in only one sense; a larger revenge on my audience. Anybody will come to watch this movie, will face my revenge. The audience will never understand what is happening, it will never be allowed to pause the movie and with new characters who instructed strictly to give no expression, my audience will be pissed off. And still I told theater owners to keep latrines off so that the audience will sucked off more and more. Oh that what I like to do with my audience. Wow! Suck their blood and pissed them off.

ISC: But in your prolong career don't you feel you gave something different to your audience?

K-Jo: Yea I gave them few different things first gay appeal to every next movie, pink car and pink dresses in every movie and new expressionless characters in this movie.

ISC: So please give your concluding remarks to your fans?

K-Jo: You still didn't understand, my movie is just like 'Bhoot Returns'. I am same Ram Gopal Varma in a more polished look. He sucks audience blood with terribly horrible movies and I suck my audience's blood with ridiculously useless and stupid movies.

(Laughing loudly ha ha ha…. he he he… hoo hoo hoo, K-Jo simply removed 50% of skin on his facing showing other side as Ram Gopal Varma's face. He said "We both are same I am half Ramu and Ramu is half K-Jo. He he he.... ha ha ha....)