TOP STORY - POLITICS

No place to put trash - God

God issued an official statement, after many Indians who loved their good heart Jaspal Bhatti, outraged on his early exit from the earth. A circular that said God really felt a serious need of a great guy with good sense-of-humour and noble intentions with him; he was getting bored with ridiculously trash mentality people such as politicians. God also said that he revised the minimum age of politicians at 150 years from now.

"Guys, I can understand your sadness for a person with such wonderful heart. However, for last many years a junk and trash kind of serious people are really stinking the 'hell'. That smell has now reached to 'heaven' as well. Therefore, I felt a need to have great fragrance of good person that I thought only Bhattiji could have been filled," said God when he saw people in India couldn't stop crying.

God's press release said "Hey guys please understand me, I also apologized for that. I was irritated with these serious and idiotic guys who don't have understanding of humour and always try to play politics. I know you all have patience and determination, which I don't have. It is your strength. Particularly, you all Indians have great patience which you occasionally demonstrate, by showing the urgency of attending offices despite terrorist attack on Mumbai. Or keeps people like Afzal Guru and Ajmal Kasab as your honourable guests. You guys also like to discuss on corrupt politicians rather than they get some kind of punishment. Therefore, I thought of keeping in mind your interest, I raised the age of politicians so that they can make trillions of rupees, going forward and entertain you till the time you don't get irritated."

Sources from the heaven said that Indian politicians demanded special addition to their age, as their political career starts at around 50 years.

"Yes I think they deserve life beyond 150 also. Actually, they asked me 1000 years to spend on mother earth, but I said that it would be in exceptional cases. More and more corrupt and intolerant that means entertaining would get life more than 150 years to 1000 years while normally corrupt politician can live for at least 150 years," said God.

God also provided special relief for politicians by giving them 150 years prospectively. So if somebody is 70 now, he will live till total 220 years.

"Yea that I thought would be better for politicians such as ND Tiwari and Keshubhai Patel who will live their life in more productive manner," said God.

According to estimates, if ND Tiwari completes his full 150 years from now, he would add at least 109,500 new kids to Indian society.

However, not all politicians are happy regarding the new life they have granted.

Senior Congress Leader, Digvijay Singh said "I am seriously disappointed with God's decision. The list is unclear about the special grant of more life for secular politicians. I demand him that secular politicians should live at least 150 years more."

But overall, the Indian political arena was quite thrilling, as every politician was thinking and discussing about his plans for next 150 years.

"I will form 55 more companies that will grab more and more land of farmers," said Nitin Gadkari, BJP President.

Robert Vadra, who recently came into picture, said "I would urge God to give me strength to buy illegal land in US and UK, where there is hardly any mango man."