84985th Congress leader endorsed Rahul Gandhi as ideal candidate for PM’s post

Posted by Diggy Chacha | Friday, 8 March 2013 | Posted in , , ,

Another Congress leader said that Rahul Gandhi is only candidate suitable for Indian Prime Minister's job.

Puducherry based Youth Congress leader K Balakrishnan said "I endorse Rahul Baba to become India's Prime Minister this time. I ask him to become right now why wait for demon Narendra Modi to take over that chair in 2014. Better seat there right now, Manmohan will easily hand it over to you."

Bala was 84985th Congress leader who certified Rahul Gandhi as the most ideal candidate suited for PM's job. He also alleged that Rahul's speech was replaced with Manmohanji's speech.

He said "Prima facie evidences suggest that it was what Manmohanji had to say in the Parliament that replaced with Rahul Baba's speech. I suspect speech writer has made some blunder between these letters."

Talking on lack of interest in marriage, Bala asked Rahul "Baba you don't worry if nobody is offering his daughter for your marriage. My daughter Jyothy is always there to marry you. I can make all sacrifices for you."

Japanese company found searching for Indian problems to launch its product here

Posted by Diggy Chacha | Thursday, 7 March 2013 | Posted in , ,

A Japanese company that deals through home shopping network found undertaking an extensive research in India to understand exact Indian problems so that it could launch its product.
"We understood that substantial chunk of Indians want to change their skin colour from black to white," said Nikomi Oshikama, CEO of Timoshi Corp which deals in FMCG products in Japan.
He said "Therefore, we plan to launch fairness cream in Indian market. We signed up Vivek Oberoi along with few nigros from Africa. We also plan to sign Pakistani actors as their craze is increasing in India."
Timoshi Corp is famous in Japan for supplying creams and moisturizer products to Japanese customers through home shopping network. However, it has no experience in fairness products, as Japanese are already fair. The company now wants to take the opportunity to ride on ever growing Indian demand.
Discussing about inexperience in fairness cream market, as Japanese are already fair, Oshikama said "We imported few nigros from Africa and coloured them with white cement to show how a black can become white."
He also told that the biggest substance of the company's cream is white cement which instantly converts black colour into white.
Oshikama announced "We are going to launch fairness product made from unique herbs in West Indies, Sri Lanka and Kenya. Japanese used those herbs in ancient times and they became fairer."
He said that the herbs are strong enough to convert the colour of the skin very fast according to a research conducted by steel firm in Japan.
Oshikama told reporters that they found 2-3 problems in India and will gradually tap all those.
"We are going to tap fairness related issues here. Thereafter, joint pain and then poverty problems," said Oshikama.
Timoshi Corp is planning to set up a JV with Haridwar based Sadhus to resolve Indian poverty related issues by offering Kuber's Mantra and Tantra.
Oshikama told reporters "I believe in Kuber. I really love him. Everyday I take blessings from him. He is the only source of all these ideas to me. I want to sell that whatever Kuber mantra and tantra to all my customers so that they would also become rich like me."

Survey: 99% of politicians want to send their night watchmen on PM's post

Posted by Diggy Chacha | Wednesday, 6 March 2013 | Posted in , , ,

Reading idea behind Narendra Modi's speech, calling Prime Minister Manmohan Singh as night watchman, 99% of Indian politicians want to appoint night watchmen of their party on PM's post. A survey revealed that even names like Ram Kapoor and Vivek Oberoi were considered by senior leaders of different political parties of India.

"Senior leaders of 6 national parties and 46 state level parties said that they want to have only a small role in deciding who would become the prime minister of India and don't want much," said Survey Organiser Deepak Sharma of SurveyMonkey.

The survey include voting from the big leaders including Rahul Gandhi, Lalkrishna Advani, Mayawati and leaders of state parties like Chandrababu Naidu and Mulayam Singh Yadav.

"While it is SurveyMonkey's policy to keep the names who voted in favour and against in secret, I can say only one thing that 1% wants to become Prime Minister to understand the nitty gritties of the job," said Sharma.

Few politicians already confirmed that they feel night watchwoman would be best fitted for the job.

Sharma also said that many of the politicians considered popular actors like Ram Kapoor, Vivek Oberoi and Shahid Kapoor are suitable for job as they are very flexible.

"Ram Kapoor like guys are ladies special leaders and ostensibly famous among women therefore they are in demand," said one political leader requesting anonymity.

According to sources, scenario was changed after Rahul Gandhi said that he also wanted to step on the foot prints of his mother. Many leaders of political parties recognised that to reach the grass root levels and empower all the MPs they need to put 12th player on the seat and control him for the sake of India's betterment.

"Boss, who fuck wants to get controlled? I like to control somebody, may be Raja Bhaiyya is better fit," said Samajwadi Party President Mulayam Singh Yadav.

Congress spokesperson, Manish Tewari said "Rahulji doesn't want to keep status quo in terms of family run business. He wants to appoint his representative so that he can keep an eye on the organisation while he would be doing for MP empowerement. He wants to keep status quo as the way his mummy showed."

India announces free Mars mission for people below poverty line

Posted by Diggy Chacha | Tuesday, 5 March 2013 | Posted in , , ,

After its grand launch of food security bill project, Indian government announced free Mars and Moon tours for people below poverty line. Indian government took cues from the millionaire space tourist Dennis Tito's plan to send two astronauts on a 501-day flight that zooms past Mars and swings back to Earth.
"We are discussing the plan and the initial draft would be ready in next 1 month. The pilot project is under the name Rajiv Gandhi Mangal Antariksh Yojna," said Dr. K. Radhakrishnan; the current Chairman of Space Commission, Secretary, Department of Space, Government of India and Chairman of ISRO.
Radhakrishnan said "Indian Railways and Air India will assist in our program to send Indian people below poverty line for a 5-day visit."
He said that Prime Minister Manmohan Singh who is also Minister of Space himself told the department to work out on the plan and send first draft as soon as possible.
According to Congress sources, the buzz is that Congress President Sonia Gandhi called Mr. Singh after reading news about Tito and asked him to workout something beneficial for below poverty line people on the same line of Employment Guarantee Scheme and Food Security Bill.
The source also confirmed that IRCTC, a division of Indian Railways will look after the catering service in the space shuttle and Air India would take care of Space Shuttle Hostesses and crew.
"Food will be charged and registration for the space shuttle seat will be done at IRCTC website," said Radhakrishnan.
Dr. Manmohan Singh said "UPA Government believes in the empowerement of poor. Mars is not just for millionaire, all BPL people are entitled to visit it. Along with Mars we are also going to send space shuttle to Moon as well."

Arvind Kejriwal to announce another corruption case in Wharton India's forum

Posted by Diggy Chacha | | Posted in , , , ,

Aam Aadmi Party convener, Arvind Kejriwal announced that he would announce 2-3 scams in Wharton India's Economic forum on March 23 in Philadelphia.
"I am going to announce one scam of a top most US leader who used his authorities against the aam public of the USA. He is at responsible post of the US' President. I don't want to disclose his name right now. I will tell you in Wharton's forum. I will also announce one of the biggest scams of India. It is related to defence ministry and mostly related to choppers they use. I don't want to say anything about it right now. My team is gathering all the news paper clippings and web article references to link the story. Everything you will come to know in WIF," said Arvind Kejriwal.

Wharton to offer courses in managing hypocrisy, after scrapping Narendra Modi’s speech

Posted by Diggy Chacha | Sunday, 3 March 2013 | Posted in , ,

World renowned Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania announced specialised training courses of hypocrisy after its quick demonstration of scrapping Narendra Modi's scheduled speech.

"We believe that we manage easily how to justify all our actions and inactions that are highly objectionable and hypocrite. Therefore, we plan to introduce Management of Hypocrisy for students that want to succeed in their life," said spokesperson of the Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania.

The spokesperson said "We know that students require best of standards of showing hypocrisy on every step of the competitive world. Take example of ours, we are best as a hypocrite institution and therefore thought of more and more students benefiting from it."

Wharton earlier canceled Gujarat Chief Minister Narendra Modi's keynote address at the prestigious Wharton India Economic Forum later this month.

The forum released statement saying "Our team felt that the potential polarising reactions from sub-segments of the alumni base, student body, and our supporters, might put Mr. Modi in a compromising position, which we would like to avoid at all costs, especially in the spirit of our conference's purpose."

The Forum is an annual student-run India-centric conference hosted by the Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania. Modi had been invited to deliver the keynote address at the Forum to be held in Philadelphia on 22-23 March via video conference.

Interestingly, Wharton appreciated itself for showing such great way of giving reasoning for its action. Earlier, the school forgot to ban George Bush for showing his action in Afghanistan by killing thousands of innocent Muslims.

When reporters talked Wharton management, it said "That was justice to what they did and the thing we know how to justify our actions. Therefore, we thought of spreading our best business to our students. We plan to offer Management of Hypocrisy from next season."

Rahul Gandhi pleasantly surprised with very low traffic in Mumbai

Posted by Diggy Chacha | Saturday, 2 March 2013 | Posted in , ,

Rahul Gandhi expressed his pleasure over the low traffic in generally crowded Mumbai and asked his party counterparts in Delhi to implement same traffic structure.

"I am pleasantly surprised that there was no traffic at all on Mumbai streets. It was totally contradictory to what I heard that Mumbai was crowded on the street. I immediately congratulated to Chief Minister Prithviraj Chavan for the success in maintaining traffic low on the streets," said Rahul Gandhi, expressing his happiness over the low traffic that he had faced in generally said peak hours of Mumbai.

He was visiting Mumbai the Congress party's Mumbai office, Tilak Bhavan, on Friday.

"We are highly gratified with Rahul Baba's comments and told that it was his blessings which helped us traffic issues in Mumbai and made this city a great place for businesses," said CM Prithviraj Chavan.

Rahul Gandhi said that he talked with his mother Sonia Gandhi and Delhi CM Sheila Dikshit to implement Mumbai like infrastructure.