According to sources in Samajwadi Party, son of Uttar Pradesh Chief Minister Akhilesh Yadav Arjun Yadav has started his studies on how to recognize communal forces and portray himself as secular messiah.

"Akhilesh's son Arjun is undergoing through a rigorous training of recognizing communal forces and understanding their psyche. He is also learning how to divert topic by claiming it as anti-secular that is uneasy for him. Mulayamji personally teaching him how to show himself as only caretaker of secularism," said a source, familiar to development.

The sources also told that after Arjun Yadav completes his studies, Akhilesh wants him to participate in Arnab Goswami's News Hour debate.

"That will be Arjun's real test. Dodging Arnab's questions and polarizing the entire debate would give him 100% marks. However, Mulayamji has already given him clean chit before he completed his studies as like Akhilesh Yadav got it from him after Muzaffarnagar riots," said the source. 

The India Satire brings to its readers in Muzaffarnagar a guide on passing time when curfew is on. This guide can be used as a reference material by all other people in India.

Things to do

·         Make up your mind to watch bullshit on TV like pro-women serials. India Satire recommends testing brain with psychiatrist if you watched serials on consistent basis whenever curfew is removed. Male chauvinists may cause headache for women.

·         Sleep till 10 am and watch movies that you have watched 1000 times. Abuse TV channels for showing repetitive movies and a lot of advertisements.

·         Call subordinates, lecture them on how to be devoted on work and reach office despite having curfew.

·         Nothing new in news papers. Just yawn while reading Manmohan's silence, Modi's shouts and Rahul's dumb speeches.

·         Discuss various political issues on phone.

·         Think how Akhilesh Yadav wasted precious time in your productive schedule during a small bit of rest in the afternoon.

·         Irritate while eating Khichadi almost everyday.

Positives

·         Rest till 10 -11 am.

·         Watch movies

Negatives

·         Watching TV serials

·         Playing with kids

·         Eating same food everyday

·         Office boss is better than wife

·         Some people, particularly newlywed are overburdened with the work like cooking, cleaning and pampering their wife.

According to a KPMG-TOI study, 90% useless people with no work or no intention to work are involved in riots. The study says that these people generally have sufficient time to waste it in riots. The study has importance at the time of current Mujaffarnagar communal riots.

"Our study findings are in line with the macro study of behavioral science of Indian voters conducted by PCI Chief Markandeya Katju. The study reveals that 90% of people involved in riots are useless and likes wasting their precious time in worthless things like communal clashes," said BC Rajan, study conductor.

He said that people indulged in communal clashes are actually considered as useless; however, they call themselves smart and invaluable. Rajan said that the study has used few landmark findings of Markandeya Katju's independent research that says 90% of Indians vote based on castes and religions.

"We asked many people who said that they are actually smarter than ordinary peace loving Indians and think all the problems will be resolved with creating nostalgic environment in the society," said Rajan.

Rajan said that 98% of 90% useless people are related to political parties or religious associations.