Daiichi Sankyo consumes record number of Revital tablets to boost energy of management

Posted by Diggy Chacha | Wednesday, 29 May 2013 | Posted in , , ,

Difficult to digest crappy buyout Ranbaxy Laboratories in 2008, Daiichi Sankyo promoters consumed record number of 'Revital' capsules to lift the energy of its management. Revital is Ranbaxy's energy boosting capsules and even consumed by Bollywood star Salman Khan.

"We can't believe that we have been fooled by those two Sardars," said Takashi Shoda, Chairman of the second largest pharma company of Japan.

In a candid interview to the India Satire correspondent, he said "Both those Singhs have sold us out garbage after taking all the energy out of it. Now how can we sell the crap, which even Indian doctors are not buying? Energy levels are at lowest levels among our management. Just last month coincidently we saw advertise of Salman Khan saying 'Jeeyo Ji bhar ke' and decided to self consume Revital."

Analysts expect that the development would boost the revenue of Ranbaxy in Q1FY14 and possibly it will make record revenues.

"I am strong buy on Ranbaxy Laboratories. I believe that some specific ingredients in Revital boost energy of some part of the body. I think Japanese consumption of the drug at high levels make the stock look attractive at current levels," SP Tulsian, stock analyst of sptulsian.com said.

Tulsian said "In disclosure, I don't consume Revital. Neither do 30+. I only eat Baba Ramdev's Chyawanprash."

"God, next time onwards I will give proper customer service, but remove these cases" - Bharti Airtel Chief Sunil Mittal

Posted by Diggy Chacha | Thursday, 11 April 2013 | Posted in , , , ,

Today I am here to confess that my a** is burnt out of fear and I couldn't sleep properly because of continuous vomiting and loose motions. Still my a** is burning for visiting toilet for 10-15 times during last 2-3 hours. Reason for my loose motion is my fear that Court will put me inside jail or ban me from making any false commitments again. Hopefully! Court will not do that.
It was a special occasion for the Indian Judiciary when it issued summon to big business tycoon like me. But it is really an a** tarnishing day for me. How can I forget the day when I committed in front of God the time I received telecom licenses. I told him that I will serve people as like my mother and father. I will be their servant. I will give them a great telephonic and broadband experience and besides that I will appoint such representatives who would solve all of their queries with humbleness.
That was actually greatest day of my life. I was a kind of novice to the telecom business and wanted to say what an idealist businessman says to God. I also told him that if I don't serve my consumers properly, then he can punish me like a pig. I told him that whenever he finds something wrong in me or in my company, he can take a stick and start beating on my a**. However, God is punishing in some other way. It is like beating me in front of the entire public.
I am a bit humble and therefore I accept all my bullshitting. But that bad*** Ravi (Ruia), he is such an arrogant that he would never accept his mistake. Forget him. So let me tell you what has happened with me. Indian Court has recently put me in two cases. One accusation was about the additional 2G spectrum allocation and the other was providing 3G roaming services to new customers in seven circles where Airtel does not have license to do so. I know it was because of collective demands of all those customers whom I treated like shit and my customer service personnel which showed them that they are nothing more than trash.
Hey God! You don't know how much stupid services I offered to my customers. I literally showed them they are fools and made biggest mistakes of their life for choosing Airtel. One of the most idiotic things that I made was that I kept 7-8th standard pass out guys as customer relationship manager to save few bucks. Yea, interestingly that time I was the most profitable telecom company in India. But below my a** I wasn't aware that my useless customer service would pull me down to such an era. Just yesterday I went to Airtel Shop to see my empire. It was look like a desi Pizza corner, and counter boys and girls were just like another Pizza boys and girls. I forgot that I was in Airtel Shop and ordered a Pizza.
Hey God! I forgot my commitment towards you and my customers and therefore I know that you are punishing like this. God! I again commit you this time is my last chance and I will try to serve customers like God. I am their servant. My customer care department will be humble and kind, giving best of services. But please remove these cases on me.

Power of hearing improves twice by using new earphones - Sony

Posted by Diggy Chacha | Tuesday, 9 April 2013 | Posted in , , , , ,

Sony has developed new earphones for its mobile to radio devices which improves hearing ability of user by twice he has, according to the company press release.

"We have developed special kind of earphones under our program 'Ear Empowerment'. I want to congratulate the engineering team which developed such a wonderful product that is good for entire humanity. Regular use of these earphones improves hearing capacity by twice. Now you can even hear what a special cute girl near you talking in her mind. Yea but the condition is she should talk loud in her mind," said Sony Corp Chairman Sir Howard Stringer.

Talking about the earphones in detail, he said "Daily use of these earphones develops a white mucus in the ears. The mucus has ability to clean ears and improves power of hearing. More and more listening of songs, especially loud and clamorous like dog is barking or sound of krrrrrrrrr.... would start improvement faster and you can see expected results in 15 days."

Sony Corporation is a leading electronics maker and manufactures Television, mobile handsets, radios, DVD players, etc. The company tried to answer criticisms that has persistently made on music industry that using earphones is bad for ears.

"That is bullshit. These earphones are good for actually ears. Only caution you have to take is that keep these earphones at least for 21 hours in a day," said Mr. Stringer.