Published On:Monday, 29 July 2013
Special Correspondent: Politicians ridiculed for thali-gate awarded honorary doctorates, forgive nation for outrage
Mumbai, 29th July 2013.
In a surprising turn of events, the two politicians involved in thali-gate have gone from being the butt of a nation's jokes, to being international heroes. The Indian Institute of Physics (IIP) announced in a press conference today that they have decided to confer an honorary doctorate in Physics to Raj Babbar and Rashid Masood for their discovery of time portals.
"I've been having meals for Rs. 12 in Mumbai for as long as I could remember and was completely taken aback by the nation's outrage at my statement. When Doctor Masood mentioned his 5-Rupee meals in Delhi I knew that something wasn't quite right. While discussing the issue over our favourite TV show, Dr. Who., it suddenly hit us! We had stumbled upon time portals and had been eating at restaurants in the past. It was so obvious we were surprised that we hadn't noticed it earlier. We contacted the IIP with our theory, and they confirmed it soon after. The doctorate was a pleasant surprise." Doctor Babbar explained.
"We were very excited when Doctor Babbar told us the theory and immediately dispatched two of our best physicists to the locations. The results clearly proved that they had stumbled upon time portals, leading to the past, in Delhi and Mumbai. All this while, they had been eating at restaurants in 1943 and 1952 respectively. " Dr. Jain (the dean of IIP) said.
"The last week has been very traumatic for both of us. I think the McBabbar jokes on Twitter were in bad taste and were very hard to digest for Dr. Babbar. Things had gotten so bad that we had to avoid walking past dark alleys for fear of being pounced upon by an answer-demanding Arnab Goswami. Some people would say that the nation owes us an apology, but we have chosen to forgive and forget." A relieved Doctor Masood said.
Asked for his reaction to the confirmation of the discovery, Dr. Babbar said, "It was overwhelming relief followed by a sense of overwhelming responsibility. We could have kept the discovery to ourselves, but I immediately told IIP that we had to share it with the world. Babbar likes to sher, I said. Heh, Heh."
The party celebrated by having a Rs. 2599(inclusive of taxes) buffet at the Taj. When asked why they couldn't have catered the meal from the time portals, the spokesperson replied, "The one in Delhi is only active from 6-10 PM and we couldn't find any volunteers to venture out on Delhi's streets at that hour. And unfortunately, the one at Mumbai is submerged under water for the foreseeable future."
Disclaimer: The entire article is a work of fiction. Delhi's streets are only unsafe post 7 PM.
