Published On:Thursday, 5 July 2012
Copy of Indo-Pak Foreign Secretary talks leaked
LEAKED - FOREIGN RELATIONS
Pakistan provided list of terrorists to help it to curb catching terrorists
The Indo-Pak Foreign Secretary level talks ended on Thursday morning with Pakistan proposing a joint investigation into the 26/11 Mumbai carnage and categorically stating that Pakistan has not been involved in any terror act in India.
India Satire has received a leaked copy of the entire conversation between Pakistan's Foreign Secretary Jalil Jilani (Jilani) and India's Foreign Secretary Ranjan Mathai (Mathai). Following is the transcript of the entire conversation.
Jilani: Hi Mithai how are you? It seems you have put on a bit, feels like you eat mithai a lot.... he he he... he he he... he he he...
Mathai (irritated tone when laugh continued to go on): Hey Jilebi I am not Mithai, my surname is Mathai... call me respectfully.
Jilani: Oh I am sorry Mathai ji.. so Khush aam did... How are you?
Mathai: Fine I am! so forget all these things we shall come to the point.
Jilani: Ok as you wish. So tell me when are you going to send that Abu Jundal to Pakistan?
Mathai: What? Why should we send him to your country?
Jilani: Oh I think we have met here to extraditate terrorists and most wanted people n. Therefore, to stop terrorist activities I am asking to send Jundal to Pakistan. A lot of investigations we have to do.
Mathai: But for terrorist attack in Mumbai why do you want investigate? Better you send most wanted to India so that we can expedite our process.
Jilani: What? How can we cooperate with you if you don't send Jundal and those 40 Indians to Pakistan? We want to know how did this Jundal catch up by Saudi Police. You see Osama was there for more than 10 years in Pakistan still US could not recognize. We want to study what happened to Jundal, how did he catch up? Also send those 40 Indians which would help us further
in the investigation.
Mathai: How?
Jilani: See boss, we shall study Jundal properly and keep those 40 in cold storage so that neither of them would get out of Pakistan. We have huge amount of spendings on defence so they can leave peacefully over there.
Mathai: Suckss... I am here to discuss about the terrorists and most wanted people in Pakistan to get here and you are playing other game.
Jilani: Who told you that we have all those terrorists and most wanted. Are you an a$$hole?
Mathai: Look boss you are crossing your limits. We have all the evidences that these terrorists supported by ISI and Pakistan Army so shut your mouth and straight a way agree to the point send us those useless buggars over here.
Jilani: We shall discuss about that list next time. So shall we discuss on the cooperation treaty between India and Pakistan?
Mathai: You loser.
Jilani: He he he... (announced to media) So we have achieved a new land mark of cooperation and both the countries have agreed to fight against terrorism together. India is also committed to stop terrorist activities and will be considering of handing over those 40 Indians along with Abu Jundal to Pakistan.
Mathai: We had a frank and constructive discussion. Dialogue has contributed to a better understanding. While we do not agree on all issues, we do agree that relationships have to be normalised and also I hope Jilani's predecessor at least will start productive dialogue.