In a totally unexpected move, Congress leader Digvijay Singh lashed out at Muslim Clerics who released a fatwa against Muslim girls performing in a rock band. He took on Muslim Spiritual leaders so much that his head became heavier and hotter and finally blasted to throw everything out.

"I condemn a RSS like stand of Muslim clerics on opposing young girls for performing in a rock band. I am very angry on this fatwa. Very, very angry," said Digvijay Singh had no experience of condemning any of moves made by Muslims till date.

He said "Today, my head is getting hotter. All Muslim clerics should be secular and more and more tolerant. Oh no what is happening to my head it is hot like iron rod. You all Muslim Clerics don't behave like RSS guys otherwise I will not call you seculars."

Suddenly, Digvijay Singh's head became red hot and gas was started releasing and finally immediately it blasted throwing everything from his brain.

According to Delhi Police, Digvijay Singh was carrying some 15kg of RDX in his brain that was blasted when his head became hot. Police also said they are trying to understand why Digvijay Singh's head suddenly blasted.

After announcing him as a Vice President of India Cements, the company Chief and BCCI President N Srinivasan showed interest in creating Concrete Statue of Mahendra Singh Dhoni. The statue is in line with the idea of Madame Tussauds - wax statue of famous world personalities.

"Nobody in the history has received such an honour to get scripted in beautiful and redolent concrete of India Cements. That honour we want to give it to Dhoni as well," said Srinivasan.

He said "I already started giving such kind of honours to Dhoni in the Indian cricket team. I made it possible for him to stick to the position of Indian Cricket team Captain just by giving him some concrete to eat made by India Cements. Now we are going to construct a white colour Concrete statue just like what Madame Tussaud does in London with people like Sachin Tendulkar, Amitabh Bachchan and Shahrukh Khan."

The management of the company said that the statue will be located at the gate of India Cements head office.

"We think that the gate would be best place and it would give a longevity to the statue, as it may be possible we shift the office to some other place but statue would remain there only," said Deputy incharge of statue related project, Bala Ramchandran.

He said "We are going to make statue so perfect that even by mistake some birds poo on the statue, it would be automatically cleaned."

Mahendra Singh Dhoni said that it was his honour that India Cements identified talent in him and thought of making statue.

"I will give perfect expression for the statue," said Mahendra Singh Dhoni "Or they can even take my photographs while I am wicket keeping."

According to India Satire sources in Tamil Nadu, Kamal Haasan plans all India torrent release for Vishwaroopam bypassing all the state, country laws and Censor Board. The director-actor will make a formal announcement if Supreme Court verdict comes against him.

"Kamal Appa is highly annoyed and totally devastated. He is planning to launch Vishwaroopam on torrent so all Indians can download it and watch at their homes," said a source close to Kamal Haasan.

He said "Appa is now just waiting for Supreme Court's decision. If it goes against movie, he will give all the rights to famous torrent sites Isohunt and Kickasstorrent companies restricted to Indians first and after 2 weeks would allow to world to watch the epic," said the source.

Experts said that Kamal Haasan's decision to release his movie through torrent will take the film industry to new levels. Few months back, Kamal Haasan announced DTH release of the movie two days before hitting theatres. However, after hunger strike from many distributors he had to change his idea. Now he will make a torrent release.

"This is a good idea. It would save time and money too. Downloading an mkv file with size of 1GB is easier and better option rather than yawning in theatre. Kamal Haasan would also be satisfied that his movie will be watched by few people in India," said Taran Adars, ace Bollywood Critic who gave 5 stars to Vishwaroop (Hindi Version of the film) before it released.

Just before cooling down the controversy over, Pakistan's demand for special attention on the security of Shahrukh Khan, Interior Minister Rehman Malik said that people of Pakistan would be happy if Kamal Haasan was thinking of leaving India and joining their nation. Pakistan's invitation came after Kamal Haasan's interview stating that he would leave the country if Vishwaroopam is not released.

"All Pakistani people are fans of Kamal Haasan. They saw his movies many times. I saw many people who saw Abhay and Dashavatar at least 1000 times. We are truly happy if Kamal Haasan joins Pakistan," said Rehman Malik.

Kamal Haasan's popularity can be guessed from the fact that his hindi movie Abhay is in 5 Pakistani theaters for more than 11 years since its launch.

"All Pakistanis love weird movies. They understand them very well. Even today Abhay and Dashavatar gets 'House Full' crowd," said Arif Khan, Gulistan theatre owner.

Arif Khan said "Our beloved Mr. Maulana Hafiz Saeed is great fan of Kamal Haasan's movie Mumbai Express. He requested us to keep that movie in theatres for at least 3 years so every day he can watch it and inspire by the acting of Mr. Haasan."

Many Pakistani cricketers are also inspired by Kamal Haasan's ageless lifestyle.

"I have even followed his footsteps on not changing age and remain ageless," said Pakistan Cricketer Shahid Afridi.

However, Pakistan's demand was not taken well by India. It immediately issued circular saying Pakistan should keep its security tight and don't make weird demands such as sending Shahrukh and Kamal to its country.

Disheartened by India's reaction, Rehman Malik said "This is just for a change that we thought to demand India to let Kamal come to our country. Just we also thought that we will show that we are more secular than Indians. It doesn't matter if India never accepts our demand. We will remain happy by watching Kamal Haasan's movies on home video."

A survey conducted by one of the leading surveyors, Survey Monkey suggested that almost 98% bosses never ever listen to entire sentence of their subordinates and interfere in between to prove that they are more intelligent.

"As per our survey that we conducted last month, almost 98% of Indian bosses have never ever listen full sentence made by their junior colleague and continuously interfere in between," said Rajiv Dayal, Survey Manager at Survey Monkey.

Survey Monkey talked to 17562 employees from different organisation and with different backgrounds.

He said "We asked people from different sectors. They said that their bosses just suck. Whenever they try to finish their sentence, boss immediately imagines something go to conclusion in his brain and gives some kind of stupid response."

Few Indian doctors said that brains of bosses are designed in such a way that they instantly generate conclusion even before employee talks.

"We met many people be employees or bosses. We also researched 1000s of brains which only show that automatised process works in a regular boss brain. This process is out of imaginary conclusive scenario and oral communication syndrome (ICS&OCS). This virus generates automatised response before even employee starts talking and gives some answer," said Dr. Deepak Ahuja of Fortis Healthcare, Delhi.

He said "Brains with ICS&OCS are risky from social point of view as they irritate employees at a large. This syndrome is growing fast in India due to globalisation."

Ahuja told India Satire correspondent that before globalisation bosses didn't use to allow employees even saying a word.

One of the victims of this trend, Robert Pascal from Mumbai said "My boss is so irritating that he never allow me to complete whatever I want to say. That may be suggestion or clarification. Just 10% before completing the sentence he starts talking and shuts my mouth. I am now a high BP patient."

Rajiv Dayal explained the reason behind such an approach of bosses. He said "Generally, bosses tend to think themselves as only intelligent creatures in the world and they have only creativity. Look at my boss, Rajesh Mishra this bloody stupid man has zero understanding of any topic but want to talk on anything. How this idiot able to find out what I am supposed to talk is a mystery to me."

According to survey results, 26% bosses stop employees just before completion of 50% sentence and in total 98% stops them before completion of 80% of the sentence. According to experts, this is a gap on account of lack of intelligence and alertness. The percentage is reverse in developed countries like USA.