Rakesh Jhunjhunwala finally bought new clothes on Diwali

01 Nov 2013 / 0 Comments

After some relief from recent stock market rally, big bull investor finally decided to buy new clothes on Diwali. According to sources, he lost all his clothes as his portfolio took a big hit in a big carnage in Indian stock markets that came by July end to August end this year. "Now I am ha

Read More...

Political News
Business

Rakesh Jhunjhunwala finally bought new clothes on Diwali

After some relief from recent stock market rally, big bull investor finally decided to buy new clothes on Di...

Sensex reacted negatively on summon to Asaram Bapu

Asaram Bapu's devotees claimed that the Sensex was down today only because Police summoned Asaram Bapu. He s...

Economy

Full Coverage: What is the force behind RBI Governor Raghuram Rajan’s first monetary policy?

3.45 am Just woke up after long work till 12 am. "The office is so messy as like Indian economy. Fortunate ...

Kapil Sibal’s wife threw him out of house over rising onion prices

According to sources, Telecom Minister Kapil Sibal's wife threw him out of his house for entire night yeste...

Entertainment
Society

Asaram Bapu promises celibacy if Court lets him go

Divine saint turned rapist, sorry rapist turned divine saint oh sorry again, Asaram Bapu who is currently in...

Sports News

Australia cricket coach asks players to contain match score below 300 runs against India

Australian coach Mickey Arthur strictly asked Australian cricket team to keep the target below 300 or score ...

Live Coverage: Sachin Tendulkar retires from cricket

6.35 PM: Late cut said it feels very sad and asked others to use it cautiously. "I will not be that generous...

Hansie Cronje plans to return to earth as match fixing rates sky rocketed

Former South Africa Cricket Captain and banned cricketer in match fixing saga in early 2000s, Hansie Cronje ...

World News

Nawaz Sharif confirmed Barack Obama in private that Pakistan Military and ISI involved in all terrorist attacks

Confident of continuation of ongoing friendly relationship with the US, Pakistan Prime Minister candidly acce...

Pakistan welcomes another bomb attack on Pakistan

Determine to remove peace, prosperity and safety from the country, whole Pakistan welcome bomb blast in Pesh...

China’s encroachment comes under Free Land Intrusion Scheme; it can also take benefits of new Land Acquisition Bill – AK Antony

India's Defence Minister AK Antony confirmed that China's encroachment in the Indian border of 640 sq km are...

Opinion

Pappu Vani on Jupiter’s escape velocity for success

Exclusive Column - Rahul GandhiThis is my second article on India Satire and I came here with great pride a...

Interview
Media
Columns
Business
Published On:Thursday, 29 November 2012

Barack Obama said nation either I will solve fiscal cliff or otherwise I will fuck you

NEWS IN BRIEF - WORLD

In a hard-hitting speech, US President Barack Obama signaled that he would not charge expected tax rates to upper-income Americans or otherwise he would fuck the markets and rich guys.

"Yes, I think I am a flexible a bit. I am a modest a bit too. It is my approach to give small but make it large. I know many rich Americans are expecting themselves to become poor by fiscal cliff this month. But I want to assure them that either I will resolve all the issues in a stipulated time at least in this era or I will fuck all of them. I will fuck US stock markets and I will keep my mouth shut thereafter," said President Barack Obama to give some relaxation to US citizens.

Barack Obama is in a special mood to make relax his counterparts who are not very comfortable with him. Along with rich Americans, he wanted to keep his ex-rival happy.

He said "Guys, I have already fucked Romney. Now nobody knows where he is. I have just found him in Alaska's beautiful ice cold and chilled mountains. Therfore I called him to visit White House and have lunch or dinner and get back to Alaska again."

Reacting to Obama's motivating speech, US markets rose sharply.

"Most of the stocks gone up on the new expectations that they would get fucked by Obama," said a stock expert, avoiding his identity.




0 comments for "Barack Obama said nation either I will solve fiscal cliff or otherwise I will fuck you"

Leave a reply

  1. Rakesh Jhunjhunwala finally bought new clothes on Diwali
  2. Australia cricket coach asks players to contain match score below 300 runs against India
  3. Salman Khurshid in private confirms that he feels stupid while defending UPA Government’s policies
  4. Kapil Sibal wins argument against his wife
  5. Krrish 3 producers to distribute ‘under wears’ as promotional campaign
  6. Movie Preview: Everything you wanted to know about Hrithik Roshan’s ‘Krrish 3’