Rakesh Jhunjhunwala finally bought new clothes on Diwali

01 Nov 2013 / 0 Comments

After some relief from recent stock market rally, big bull investor finally decided to buy new clothes on Diwali. According to sources, he lost all his clothes as his portfolio took a big hit in a big carnage in Indian stock markets that came by July end to August end this year. "Now I am ha

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Published On:Tuesday, 20 November 2012

After Ajmal Kasab's execution, Hafeez Saeed found masturbating furiously just before his own final term

NEWS IN BRIEF - TERRORISM

Many Talibanis and Pakistani terrorists found Lashkar-e-Taiba Supremo Mullah Hafeez Saeed having sessions of masturbation privately after the execution of Ajmal Kasab in Yerwada Jail, Pune. Sources said that Saeed was acting out of fear that if he was being jailed again in India he would not get chance to secretly masturbate and would remain deprived for world's best stress relieving technique.

"Janaab Saeed started pumping his cock up and down furiously when I told him that Kasab bhai executed in India," said Umanullah Khan, a street beggar in Pakistan who is actually learning these days how to shoot using AK-56.

He told India Satire correspondent "I was amazed and asked why he was masturbating. He said that even I should seat their and start masturbating otherwise I would also not get a chance to do it. He told me that Indian Jails don't give privacy and we can't relieve our stress. He was on rampant just before oozing out."

Sources said that Kasab complained Hafeez Saeed from jail that he was not getting opportunity to have self stimulation sessions while watching many beautiful virgin girls in his dreams.

"That made Janaab Saeed for having masturbation at same point of time. He doesn't want to remain destitute of the pleasure," said a close associate who witnessed the development.

He said "Janaab also asked all of us to have indoor sessions every day morning, afternoon, evening and night so that all of us whenever found attacking any of the Indian cities would not feel like deprived of this opportunity."




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