Priyadarshan announces his next Bollywood flick Billa Baba on similar lines with Billu Barber

Posted by Diggy Chacha | Monday, 9 April 2012 | Posted in


BRIEF NEWS - STORY MAKING

Sense of poverty reflected from Billa in the interactions opens up a new Billa Baba story

While everybody was wondering over exactly what Billawal Bhutto Zardari had learnt from Rahul Gandhi (Rahul Baba), India's one of the most successful directors Priyadarshan announced a new Bollywood movie on the similar lines with his earlier blockbuster Billu Barber.

"The name of the movie would be Billa Baba and story will be one Indian hot celebrity / political leader who is dedicated to empower dalits and aam admis will visit a lesser known politician in Pakistan," Priyadarshan gave an idea about his flick.

He said "The movie is based on love and care and high drama of humanity."

Priyadarshan confirmed India Satire correspondent that the whole idea is based on the interaction between the two hot teenagers in India and Pakistan, copies of which he received from the government of India. He told that to initiate the process of direction he got meeting clipping from the government. Though, he avoided divulging any more details, he told correspondent that there were many instances why he chooses Billu Barber as base story. Priyadarshan told India Satire correspondent that on many instances Billawal Bhutto Zardari (BBZi) felt poor in front of Rahul Baba.

Seeking confirmation from India Satire correspondent about confidentiality, he showed the clipping of the meeting.

So what made Priyadarshan to write Billu Barber Again?

1.     Rahul Baba has beta versions of i-Pad 4 (launch date in 2013) and i-Phone 6 (launch date is not yet decided, i-
Phone 5 will be launched in October) while Billawal (Billa) had Samsung Galaxy phone's recent version and i-Pad 

2.     Rahul Baba showed him how he attended lunch of poorest of poor while Billa never attended snacks party or even tea party at aam Pakistani's home.

3.     Rahul Baba's diet which includes 28-days padyatra also amazed Billa.

4.     Billa was amazed to see there were to servants to take orders whose names were Diggy Chacha and Sibbu uncle.

5.     He noticed that Diggy Chacha was himself eager to serve after every 10- 15 minutes with loft of butter on brown bread and hot glass of Bournvita in a 1ltr glass, juices, etc.

6.     He noticed that after every 10 odd minutes PM Manmohan Singh used to come to him and was asking that Zardari said this so please ask mummy what he should tell to Zardari.


7.     Baba never asked about Hina Rabbani Khar during entire meeting while one bbuddha named SM Krishna was telling Papa to send her so that relations at diplomatic levels will improve drastically.


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BREAKING NEWS: Zardari caught buying pirated DVD of Agent Vinod, held by Delhi Police and then allow him to go after investigation

Posted by Diggy Chacha | | Posted in


BRIEF NEWS

Zardari did the sin out of frustration of banning movie in Pakistan

A leaked government document discloses that Asif Ali Zardari was held in a Delhi Jail for entire 10 minutes, after Delhi Police caught him while buying a pirated DVD of Agent Vinod in Delhi's unnamed crowded market place.

"Yea that's correct. Zardari was negotiating price of Agent Vinod's pirated DVD with a shop keeper while our constable Ram Vilas Paswan held him," said B.K. Gupta, Police Commissioner of New Delhi.

He said "Constable was doing his duty. He made a usual surprised raid on the day when Zardari was shopping a Pakistan-banned movie DVD of Agent Vinod. As his duty, Ram Vilas caught him and took to Police lock-up where within 10 minutes government officials came and released him immediately."

While Gupta appreciated that duty comes first attitude of Ram Vilas he also raised question that a person on a prestigious position should not act that way.

Gupta said "Ram Vilas is one of those talented constables who have saved some bit of shame for Delhi Police force which is highly criticised as security guards for politicians. However, Zardari could have resisted his obsession and could behave legally."


While India Satire reporter tried to call Zardari, the call got unanswered. However, Saif said "There was no mistake of Zardariji. India has huge amount of piracy and I would recommend Indian government to call ISI to stop piracy.


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Manmohan Singh met Zardari discussed on how to curb leakage issues in both the countries

Posted by Diggy Chacha | Sunday, 8 April 2012 | Posted in


Pakistan offers plumbing help to India

Rising leakage issue in government documents was the main point between India's Prime Minister and Pakistan's President Asif Ali Zardari. Along with the leakage issue, both the senior leaders discussed on recent movies, foreign trips and Pakistan's rising tension with China on border issue.

Manmohan Singh, who hosted the meeting with Zardari raised the concerns over leakages of government documents in both the countries which raises tensions between and among the country's charming leaders. While Zardari acknowledged that both the countries should cooperate with each other, he asked India should to allow Pakistani plumbers to migrate freely between the countries and improve each other's plumbing lines and stop leakages. Politicians in both the countries are marred by rising leakage of government documents, which is just looting their shame among the wide population in both the countries.

Foreign secretary Ranjan Mathai, while briefing newspersons after the meeting said "Both the leaders reached at the consensus that the leakages of government documents should be stopped."

Mathai told reporters that Zardari accepted that his blood pressure went up from average 100-78 to 180-110 levels since Memogate saga.

Zardari was seen saying Manmohan "Fu*k man, life was really irritating. I really couldn't enjoy good comedy Bollywood flicks after that letter was leaked."

Manmohan gave him few tips how to sleep 10-12 hours even after immense amount of stress and tension. Manmohan told Zardari "You should adopt a holy mom like Soniaji who would be always there to take your tensions and stress on herself."

Zardari and Manmohan also talked over recent Bollywood movies which include Housefull 2 and Agent Vinod. While Zardari appreciated that Agent Vinod is a big step of India to curb terrorism and tension among the countries, efforts should more frequent than occasional.

Mathai said "Zardari told Manmohanji that movies like Agent Vinod which gives true picture about Pakistan are very rare in India and there is a big gap between Main Hoon na and Agent Vinod. Therefore, India should increase its efforts to curtail terrorism."

"Zardari also appreciated Housefull 2 which was considered as one of the best comedy flicks in India and asked Manmohan whether he watched that movie," said Mathai.

Manmohan said Zardari "Last time I watched Dilip Kumar's Bairaag which so funny and hilarious that since then I stopped watching movies. Nothing made me laugh after watching that movie." Zardari also agreed with Manmohanji on Bairaag issue, informed Mathai.

Zardari's meeting with Agent Vinod

Asif Ali Zardari met India's Agent Vinod, Saif Ali Khan and discussed about many issues such as corporate terrorism, Kareena Kapoor and his uncle Hafiz Saeed.

Zardari said  "The meeting with Agent Vinod was very productive. We advised each other on improving infrastructure to stop corporate terrorism. I also congratulated him for bringing the real issue on the table. I also told him that Pakistan will always help India's RAW in tapping corporates."


Zardari also handed over to him a list comprising 25 corporate honchos which are suspected to use bomb-blasts to short sell equities. Agent Vinod also committed him that he will cooperate with Pakistan in curbing corporate terrorism by taking firm steps.


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REACTIONS: Kareena Kapoor looks fat aunty - Kamaal Rasheed Khan

Posted by Diggy Chacha | | Posted in


"Yo!," says KRK

Reactions from all over the world

Many prominent personalities reacted to Kamaal Rasheed Khan’s (KRK) statement that Kareena Kapoor looks like fat aunty. Reactions of Rahul Baba, Bipasha Basu, Priyanka Chopra, Saif Ali Khan, Karan Johar, Shashi Tharoor and Chacha Digvijay Singh are posted.





Reactions




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BOOK REVIEW: ‘Mother Dairy - A tale of mother and son relationship’ by Sonia Gandhi

Posted by Diggy Chacha | Saturday, 7 April 2012 | Posted in


A leaf of India's most powerful woman's life

(Editor's note- Publisher wrongly mention Mother Dairy instead of Mother Diary, which he clarified latter after distributing 10mn copies. Next edition will carry a right name. Mother Dairy sued the publisher and the author for using its brand name.)

India's strongest woman, Sonia Gandhi finally released her long awaited book on her motherly nature, Mother Diary (no not Dairy that was a spelling mistake made by publisher), which has received huge response and next 3 editions are already booked. In the inauguration ceremony, Soniaji invited Italian Prime Minister Mario Monty who also launched the first copy of this book with a sign in golden letters.


Though, the book is not really an auto biography, it flashes adequate light on her life as housewife, mom of a son and daughter and mom of the nation's all aam-admis.

The book is thrilling to read as it was expected by many book critics. It includes high levels of emotions, drama, dramatic turns-n-twists, strong attachments and relations. The book is on power, maintaining power with stronger power and stronger power derived from stronger leaders in the Congress Party.

Soniaji has divided this book in 3 parts. First part talks about Soniaji's life when she was a housewife or mother of a son and daughter. Second part is about Soniaji's life when she became mom of the nation and groom up her son to become prime minister of the nation and third and last part is what next.

Many authors like Subramanian Swamy were interested in knowing what Soniaji was before her marriage, however, first part seriously disappoints them. Sonia starts her auto-biography after she comes to India. In the introduction para of the first part Sonia said "Italy wazzz my Janmaabhumi while India izzz my Karmaabhumi. So I am more interested in talking about my life in India."

Soniaji was very much controlled but still a bit liberated while writing this part.She tells us how she groomed up Rahul Baba as India's future prime minister.

"It was always difficult task. Raul Baba was a bit lazy and extremely sloth like slow and was little interested in doing his any of work. Even a kind of *** cleaning work too for which I had to run behind him like Yashoda runs behind Kaanha," said Soniaji "However, when he reached age 4 I told him that one day he has to become India's Prime Minister so he should clean a$$ himself and also he should eat himself."

She said "Initially, Baba was not very enthusiast about PM's posion but gradually he started becoming the most ideal prime minister candidate."

Soniaji tells us about Rahul Baba's diet.

"I always remained rigid over his diet programme, which is not changed today as well. Morning he should go ***** as a first thing. After that he should clean his hand by Dettol soap and then his own mouth by Coalgate (different coalgate, its toothbrush and toothpaste and not coal related activity) and then has to rinse his face properly. After that he takes proper a full cup Bournvita for required energy and by the time Diggyji spreads huge amount of Amul Butter on the bread for Raul Baba. Diggyji then helps him in wearing clothes and shoes. After that Raul Baba has a private tution on mannerisms of Prime Ministers which Diggyji takes. He has to attend few guest lectures of Maanmohaanji as well," Soniaji tells us total programme of Rahul Baba.

Few interesting insights in the books such as comparison between Boost and Bournvita and Mother Dairy butter and Amul butter are helpful for many housewives. Soniaji also talks about how India's junk food is unhealthy while Pizza and Burger is helpful for maintaining and gaining immense amount of power.

The book takes a big turn after initial housewife job in the second phase. Soniaji starts campaigning for PM's job, however, to sacrifice for the nation and give stable government she chooses to opt out. However, Subramanian Swamy who complained to India's president for her ineligibility said that she was totally ineligible for India's PM's job and therefore president disallow her to carry.

Soniaji thrashed all the criticisms against her.

"Whatever Subraamaanianji told is totally wrong. I am Indian and Raul Baba is also Indian," she said.
Explaining why she liked Manmohanji fit for PM's job. She said "Maanmohaanji opened Indian markets in 1990s decade for selling yummy Italian Pizza and Burger and therefore I thought he would be best to handle the duty of Pizza Man (PM)."

Talking about Diggyji, Soniaji gets emotional in the book. She said "Diggyji has the habit to do multiple activities. When he sleeps outside gate we feel very much secure. He wakes up early in the morning also help waking up Raul Baba in the morning. Gives him toothbrush, paste and towel and also guide him to go to to*let to finish and clean it off early in the morning, as his schedule is very busy throughout the day and can't get proper toilets in India.  Even I can't stay without hearing Diggyji's bhoo-bhoo. He is our favorite Doggy and we gave him the name based on our favorite colleague Diggyji who is Raul Baba's best mentor."

The book in its last part tells about the future of Rahul Baba's journey to become prime minister. Though, Soniaji is worried over Rahul Baba's marriage and future future prime ministers of India, she has high hopes from Priyanka's children.

She said "Robert is very irritating guy. I can't tolerate him for a second but I know Bianca is growing her children as future prime ministers."

Our View on the book


Overall, the book unveils some interesting parts of Sonia's life. Though, this is not her auto-biography, it tells us many things about her. This book can be used as a guide to her life. Mother Dairy is a must read for every Indian housewife and mother.


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"Sajid Khan rocks! First time I laughed in my life after watching Sajid's movie" Sanjay Leela Bhansali said after watching Housefull 2

Posted by Diggy Chacha | Thursday, 5 April 2012 | Posted in


Sajid cancels special screening for critics and reached to sadist directors

Chairman of Sadist Society of Directors in India (SSD), creative director of movie sets, creative artist in movie colours and part-time director, Sanjay Leela Bhansali (popularly known as SLB) tweeted that first time he laughed in his life, after watching Housefull 2.

Instead of media Sajid Khan yesterday arranged special screening for media afflicted breed of directors and sadist directors to watch his movie, as he feels that Hindi films are not for the critics. This led to him to arrange special screening arrangement for few directors which were laughed by critics but made blockbusters.

"I think it is better to invite those directors and movie makers which know the worth of each money spent on the film. Dushman ka dushman dost hota hai," said Sajid Khan to media reporters before the screening of the movie.
Sources said that Sajid Khan invited many movie makers which are genuinely known in the industry as intellectual and heavy movies to understand makers. These include SLB, Ram Gopal Varma (RGV), Vishal Bharadwaj, Rakeysh Omprakash Mehra, Manirathnam and Anurag Kashyap, etc. While Karan Johar was busy in tweeting against Piggy Chopp he was not fortunate enough to see the screening.

According to sources, for around 2 and half hours the packed movie hall was hearing two sounds one was of course movie's and the other was laughter of all the moviemakers.

"I laughed so much. I never laughed in my life. I had to take pills from doctors over last 36 years to just smile. But Housefull 2 is awesome. Now I am feeling, I can also laugh. He he he.... He he he..." said Sanjay Leela Bhansali, after watching the movie.

However, he could not be able to recall what made him laugh so much. "Entire movie since the titles come in front of us is a big fun and laugh. Ha ha ha.... ha ha ha," said SLB.

SLB's doctors who were accompanying him through out the movie said "We were worried that SLB was so much laughing, jumping on his seats so much that we affraid he would have got heart attack and therefore we couldn't watch the movie. Still we feel that the movie was funny. Ha ha ha... ha ha ha..."

Sources said that SLB was in serious depressing situation (hyper depression, as he is a regular depressed person in his life) after watching his own movie Gujaarish. He also got depressed, after he came to know that his target audiences 'insects' and 'dogs' didn't watch the movie. But doctors said his condition is fine now and there is no need to further treatment.

Doctor Abhigopal Roy said "Now we plan to show him Hey Babby and Housefull to SLB so that we ensure he will laugh all day. We heard him saying Sajid 'once more' for the movie."
Other directors were also in a fun mood.

"Sajid's best movie so far. He he he... he he he...." said Ram Gopal Varma "I plan to make a sequel of my only comedy film RGV ki Aag 2."

Vishal Bharadwaj who is famous to for taking huge starcast in a small movie said "This movie ha ha ha... inspired me to add more star caste ha ha ha in the next movie ha ha ha..."

Sajid's strategy worked well as trade analysts are confused what to say after reading reviews of best creative (flop) movie directors of Bollywood.

Best review writer Taran Adarsh said "Now what can I say. If SLB and VB Sir are saying that the movie is fun. Then we have to write that way. We can't contest their idea and view. Our review is ready with 4 stars."
According to an independent survey, Taran Adarsh is most generous film critic in Bollywood and generally gives 3-4 stars for 97.8% movies.

According to some insiders Sajid Khan arranged tons of ltr of laughing gas in the theatre as he arranged it in the first part of Housefull that made these sadist and depressed mentality film makers laugh so much.
However, Sajid denied the rumours and said that Housefull 2 is so much fun that even a stone can laugh. Ha ha ha ...


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Sajid Khan to expand cast in Housefull 3 to 100 and 1000 in 4

Posted by Diggy Chacha | Wednesday, 4 April 2012 | Posted in


BRIEF NEWS - MOVIE PREVIEW

Normal movie watchers complain about noise pollution

Finally, Sajid Khan revealed his plans for upcoming Housefull 3. He proposes to expand the cast in a multiple of 10 to give big size entertainment for normal and abnormal human beings.

"Yea that's correct! More people more fun and my target is to reach to half the old age buddies and half the young age buddies in the movie industry," Sajid humbly answered media questions.

He said in his next flick he will rope in 24 couples and 52 fathers.

"Providing additional fathers would be a great kind of entertaining idea. A sleek and soft entertainment," said Sajid Khan. The number will grow ten times in Housefull 4 and in Housefull 5 he expects Akshay Kumar to work in a father's role.

However, the Association of Caring Rights of Normal People (ACRNP) was not happy with Sajid's ideas.
"What the fu*k? Why don't government put him into jail for boring people and creating noise pollution bombarding highly loud entertainment content? I have never laughed in his Hey Baby and Housefull which had a bit of limited characters and the noise of 200 decibels created havoc in my ears and now if he wants to raise it by 10 times in every flick what will be condition of my ears. Saala iski movie hoti hai yaa Maruti ki punch badhti hi jaati hai," said Jankidas Sharma, a normal human being represents ACRNP. Sharma also filed a litigation against him in support of public rights.

Sources said that Sajid is planning to increase characters in Housefull flicks in proportion of his growing silky hair.
Sajid denied the rumours. He said "My silky hair is a symbol of intelligence and maturity. A person's hair cross limits when he is busy in working or is growing in terms of maturity. So hair is not the real source of inspiration for characters multiplisation. I want fun and more fun and tremendous fun which I can see in the movie when there are multiple characters."

Talking exclusively to DCFC reporter, he said "Don't disclose it in your crappy website but I am planning to take 125 people in Housefull 2. However, 25 will be shown as names as script doesn't provide adequate time to show us them in the movie."

A survey conducted by Independent Bollywood Research Agency showed that a normal movie for normal people provides adequate time and space to every character in the movie.


"We estimate Sajid's Housefull 4 will provide 18 seconds for each character, which in our view would be somewhat inadequate time," said Sanchit Vaswani, survey conductor.
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