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Is Sibal Uncle resigned from the post of Congress National Committee of Think-Tanks?

Posted by Diggy Chacha | Thursday, 6 October 2011 | Posted in Politics

Inventor of Zero Loss Theory and one of the most important brains of Congress Party, Kapil Sibal (Sibal Uncle) has seemed to be out for vacations since a month or so as there was no comment from him on strategic twists-n-turns of Congress after Anna Hazare fast saga. DCFC reporter plans to dig (no not diggy) more to understand what happened exactly.

Sibal Uncle was a main member of Congress' strategy (think-tanks) department, in BJP's words Chintan Committee. The department was involved into taking decisions on major policies after a lot of brain-storming and to send it to Sonia Gandhiji (Madamji) for final approval. The members of the department are most intelligent and strategy defining personalities of Congress Party which include Pranab Mukherjee (Pronobda), P Chidambaram (Chiddu Uncle), Rashid Alvi, Salman Khurshid (Salman Bhaai) with guest representatives such as Digvijay Singh (Diggy Chacha), Rahul Gandhi (Rahul Baba). However, after Anna Hazare fast saga it seemed that Sibal Uncle resigned from his post in the department.

"He has not resigned. He was exhausted with a lot of work during last 1 year. He alone handled 2G scam, Anna Hazare saga, terrorist attacks and many other works which made him paranoid. Doctors had an opinion to take some rest and make no (nonsense) statements," Sibal Uncle's follower said. "Doctors had an opinion that if he continuously burns himself like this he may get Suresh Kalmadi Syndrome (total brain loss). Therefore, Sibal Uncle with heavy heart took some days off and planned to do some recreational activities such as advising educational panel, launching world's cheapest tablet PC, etc," the follower said.

"Sibalji is most important and one of the most valued Congress representatives. He has an intelligent brain and strategic vision. He was amongst few people who think for "aam aadmi" and always work for people," said a Senior Party leader. "There is no way that Congress will stop taking his suggestions which are plated with rich humor and great astuteness. He always used to talk that believe in your wisdom, don't talk useless and hopeless things which we always follow," he added with an emotional touch.

DCFC reporter checked the facts with Chiddu Uncle's supporter who said "It was Sibalji who gave Chidduji a tremendous amount of pain by advising him to put Annaji behind the bars otherwise Chidduji really respected Annaji as a great personality of India. That even created furies among other Congress leaders like Pronobda who had to accept demands of irritating Arvind Kejriwal who does not know to keep government's views secret. Last but not least, Agnivesh Baba told a lie that he was talking to Kapilji Maharaj a Muni in Haridwar on Phone which had stolen the real credit from Sibalji's purse. Therefore, he had to resign from that esteemed post."

Sibalji's recent remarks, works and inauguration in his current spare time

· Class 12 marks will be counted for IIT JEE: Sibal‎

· Govt plans to recover costs from IIT students‎

· IMT Hyderabad Campus Inaugurated by Kapil Sibal‎

· Read newspapers and search for his photos and columns

· Sibal blames disruption by oppn for non-passage of many bills‎

· Advised government to push for Infrastructure Status for Telecom Tower

· Decision to issue showcause notice for cancelling 74 mobile permits will free up 180.4 MHz of second generation (2G) GSM airwaves across the country

· Read Pronobda's letter in which he gave free advises to Sibal Uncle

· Introduces new plan for better spectrum management‎

· Plans to attend India-US Higher education summit on October 13‎ with Hillary Clinton (Hillary Aunty)

· Read letter of Reliance Communications to refer revenue dispute to TRAI

· Said Urdu needs to be promoted at grassroots level

· Announced Electronics policy by December

· Inaugurates sign language centre‎

· Attended Dussehra celebrations at Ramlila Maidan with great Prime Minister Manmohan Singh and Soniaji

· Working on free nation-wide roaming, MNP on cards may declare next week

· And finally most important launched Aakash, a Made in India sub-$50 Tablet

Hearty Quote "Soon, a $35 computer will be made available to every child in school. The tablet shall help enhance the quality of learning of children."

India plans to launch special loan packages for BPL public to buy world's cheapest tablet

Posted by Diggy Chacha | Wednesday, 5 October 2011 | Posted in Politics

India's biggest innovator and creative eye, Dr. Montek Singh Ahluwalia (Monty Uncle) was in a hurry to submit some papers to Planning Commission officials and to tell them to add this as an important supplement to 12th Five Year Plan document. When DCFC reporter catched him up he said, "I am not at all interested right now to you. I am in a hurry and need to submit a very important document with the officials."

DCFC reporter contacted to his Personal Secretary Mr. Arunish Chawla who is never in a hurry. His justification was correct as he said "In a hurry last time he (Monty Uncle) defined BPL public below Rs32 per day. So it was not really worthy to be in a hurry. I am never in a hurry. Sometimes, I feel he is also doing my work to speed up the process."

DCFC reporter asked Chawla that why he was in a hurry and what was he going to submit to the officials. Chawla said "Sorry, confidential boss check somebody else. It was a revolutionary idea and the brain behind that idea was Montyji himself."

Reporter checked with one source who gave us detailed information but with a request of anonymity. He said "Montyji had an idea that we can provide world's cheapest $35 tablet (innovation from Kapil Sibal who originated a theory called Zero Loss Theory) to BPL public on concessional loan basis which will improve their lives. Therefore, for last 2 days he was busy in calculations and prepare many excel sheets. He believes that if a BPL family of 6 people (2 small children, 1 husband, 1 wife and 2 parents) considered then their gross total monthly income comes around Rs5,760 per month while tablet PC will be available at Rs1,750 which is in their buying limits if proper concessional loan programme is available."

The source said "Montyji only wants to raise the status of India's BPL population. It will be the first hi-tech and gadget savvy population in the world. In his view, this will be also a great salutation to Sibalji's work as he invented such a marvellous product for just Rs1,750. This is a salute from one brain to another." He was talking in a proud manner for Monty uncle.

When asked him how will poor Indians arrange money for tablets. "See, borrower has to pay 10% as a down payment only, which is Rs175 while rest will come from loan arrangements with all the Public Sector banks at a very concessional rates. He is also planning for a subsidy for rural BPL population. This will create a big captive market for the tablet manufacturer and also a step towards globalisation and comprehensiveness." He added "This way Montyji wants to show the world that how the government is taking steps to reach out with high technological models to all aspects of Indian lives."

Indian Law Institute plans to introduce specialisation course in Defamation Laws

Posted by Diggy Chacha | Tuesday, 4 October 2011 | Posted in Politics

Considering the rising cases of defamation, Indian Law Institute (ILI) plans to introduce specialisation in Law of Defamation to create a new generation of lawyers who can advise their clients on defamation cases.

"It is a big opportunity for us as many politicians, bollywood stars and corporate honchos require the specialised lawyers for handling cases of defamation," said one student of ILI.

Few students will only focus on India's great politicians like Digvijay Singh (Diggy Chacha) who is actively involved in defamation cases. He has filed numerous cases against numerous people including advanced technological platforms such as Facebook and Twitter. Some terror organisations such as RSS have filed cases against Diggy Chacha for defamation. "Diggy Chacha provides opportunity for many lawyers as volume of cases is large and therefore he is most popular in our institute to for placement purpose," said one official of ILI. "Few people who are more socially aware would like to fight defamation cases for Anna Hazare for free-of-charge," he added.

However, politicians like Manish Tiwari are less popular as they avoid cases to come to court and reducing the chances of generating income. "Yea, that is true. The Institute has also put a case study of Manish Tiwari in our syllabus as a client backs out from the court case by apologizing to complainant. We would not like to tolerate such a middle class attitude clients who don't like to go to courts," said a student who plans to join course as soon as it gets launched.

"We plan to set up a special study center with all the facilities available for the course and invite to Diggyji to give his valued feed back as well," said Mr. Dalip Kumar Registrar of ILI. "We also offer him a lifetime membership on a simple doctrine that 'Client is God'. We assure our students that they will get best of the clients by joining this course while we assured our clients that they will get best of the talents to fight for their cases," he said.

Few students have charged institute for asking huge fees for the specialisation and announced a strong protest. "They are charging abnormally high fees which we can't afford to pay," said a furious student of ILI. "Therefore we decided to protest and asked for an equal opportunity for every student," he added.

Dalip Kumar said "Yes it is right fees are very high. But they are reasonable if we compare them to the overall opportunities that students will get. See first of all we offer confirm clients and exorbitant levels of fees they will pay if student passes out the course."

"The study center will be equipped with all the facilities that the group of socialites, politicians and film actors use like Sauna Bath, Sports center, Golf club, Snooker, Swimming Pool, 5-star restaurant, etc. so that our students will learn the true characteristics of the esteemed clients who file defamation suits," said Dalip Kumar.

Diggy Chacha plans to case against Anna Hazare for defaming Congress in advance

Posted by Diggy Chacha | | Posted in Politics

Learning from his bitter experience from Twitter and Facebook, Diggy Chacha plans to file a defamation case against modern Gandhiji, Anna Hazare (Annaji) for his act which he is going to perform in future, DCFC reporter was informed by a source closed to the development.

"Diggyji often say that we Indians need total judicial revolution," said one supporter of Diggy chacha.

"We should stop crime from happening before hand. He gave us example that now respectable Annaji is going to defame Congress and Congress Parivar in UP and Haryana elections so we need to stop him from committing crime of defamation. Stopping a crime before happening is stopping a honest man from becoming criminal. This is a great Gandhian principal which we have to adopt," the supporter was saying with wet eyes.

"Therefore, with heavy heart he picked up the phone and called Veer Appaji a great Law understanding person of India for understanding whether he can file a suit against Annaji. Veer Appa in an irritated voice told him Diggy did you forget Salman Bhaai handles that position and I am a Corporate minister and put down his phone. Salman Bhaai was not available for his advice. Therefore, finally he decided to file a defamation case against Annaji in advance," supporter added.

Diggy Chacha's lawyer Rohit Kochar said "a severe damage may happen to Congress Party's goodwill and reputation besides inflicting acute mental pain and agony on "Party, Party Parivar, Party Parivar's friends and colleagues".

"The same may cause grave damage and injury to the reputation, goodwill and image of the Congress party to which Chacha is the General Secretary and also a mentor of future prime minister (though he humbly denies)," the rough draft of the complaint said.

The rough draft also said "Annaji's statements can be highly offensive, menacing, annoying, insulting and injurious content, messages, pictures and other data".

"If I can file a suit against somebody whom we have doubt that he/she may murder me, why not Annaji as he is going to defame the most respected political party in India. He is a part of India's constitution and therefore law can't be different for him," supporter said.

He added "Diggy Chacha is trying to find solution about judicial revolution and is in discussions with Salman Bhaai".

BJP asks enquiry against 2G like BPL scam

Posted by Diggy Chacha | Monday, 3 October 2011 | Posted in Politics

India's one of the most intelligent personalities and Manmohan Singh's (Manji) beloved Montek Singh Ahluwalia (Monty uncle) has taken a back seat after a severe criticism on his definition of rural and urban poors.

To take the opportunity from the situation, BJP had conducted an urgent meeting of the top brains of the party.

The meeting was attended by Arun Jaitley, Sushma Swaraj, Nitin Gadkari and RSS leader Indresh Kumar.

Diggy Chacha Fan Club (DCFC) got the transcript of the meeting. Following excerpts:

Nitin Gadkari (Nitin Kaka): These days after my full tummy operation, I am feeling good now and my individual meal requirement is reduced to Rs320 per day so I am also in below poverty line (BPL) section.

Sushma Swaraj (Sushma Aunty): Nitinji, I think we are here to talk about real and actual BPL people and according to Monty they are below Rs32 per day and not Rs320 per day.

Nitin Kaka: Oh really! I thought I could have also claimed for BPL status for some concessions as like Amitji claimed as a farmer to avail full tax benefits. But this is not good, I also want to be included in a list of BPL people.

Arun Jaitly (Arun Uncle): (Totally ignoring Nitin Kaka's statements and his tummy remarks) I don't understand what kind of scientific formula Planning Commission used to determine BPL public. My Kamwaali baai was happy to know that she was not BPL and is included in Middle Class population as like I am and thought if not concessions at least she will get equal status as like me.

Nitin Kaka: Hmmmm... so that am I also middle class?

Sushma Aunty: Yea Arunji true it is. But I believe that we should demand some more probe in this BPL definition. If we take Rs320 per day against Rs32 per day as suggested by Nitinji we can see a big 2G like scam that Congress has initiated to avoid paying benefits.

Indresh Kumar (Indresh Bhaai): Yea I accept Sushmaji's suggestion. We should also make a thorough research on incomes on castes and religion basis which are below Rs32 per day threshold. May be muslims would be more than hindus under this threshold that we can find out. Then I will take on Diggy who everyday blame me as a terrorist. Do I look like terrorist?

Arun Uncle: Indresh Bhaai, aap bhi n! See, even if we take Rs100 per day as a threshold to live properly, so many Indians we can find out and we can also blame government and say there is a scam that the government does not want to give benefits to sections above Rs32 per day. Then Advaniji can ask Manmohanji to submit his resignation. By the way generally how much does a person require to spend every day?

Indresh Bhaai: But consider my suggestion as well.

Nitin Kaka: If we move to new threshold, will I be included in BPL category?

Sushma Aunty: Well said Arunji.

Punjabis protest against Montek for Rs32 per day BPL saga, plans to implement Aruna aunty's offer

Posted by Diggy Chacha | Sunday, 2 October 2011 | Posted in Politics

"Montek should explain us how did he calculate the Rs32 per day per person as below poverty line," said a furious Sardar Dingy Singh to DCFC reporter.

"No Sikh can live on day to day basis for just Rs32 per day. Do you know what is the cost of Paneer which is the most important food ingredient in Punjabi's life. It costs at least Rs50 per 25gm and one litre milk costs Rs30-32 per litre that too without cream. This is a big conspiracy to show that no Punjabi can come under below poverty line status and that too from two Punjabis," said Manpreet Singh Bally.

Liquor expert Lovely Singh said "Somebody, her name was Aruna Roy (Aruna aunty) advised Montek to live on Rs32 per day. We plan to give him Rs32 and will ask him manage 1 entire day with food and other required bills. Even Bhajji's famous Royal Stag whisky which is necessary as a mouth freshner before dinner, costs Rs615. He himself will not drink the Royal Stag whisky up to the limit of Rs32. At that levels even he will not get first kick. Rs32 per day is not even proper for country liquor consumers only. He should seriously rethink addition of these consumers to his BPL list."

"This way Punjab should be the wealthiest state in India where the most expensive milk products are consumed most and costs are more than Rs32 per day per person," political expert Surjeet Bindra said.

Punjab wide agitation had prompted Montek Singh Ahluwalia, one of the most intellectuals in Congress Government and Planning Commission deputy chairperson to take a defensive stand. Sources said "We are going to consider addition of paneer, milk and hard liquor in our rural and urban BPL measurement. The commission has so far argued that the figures mentioned in the Suresh Tendulkar report were comprehensive and final for estimating poverty. But they are revising it now to file a fresh affidavit that will delink the Tendulkar report from the poverty figures."

“It was just effort to improve language,” said supporter of great Gandhian Diggy Chacha

Posted by Diggy Chacha | Saturday, 1 October 2011 | Posted in Politics

Most famous and intelligent netizen of India and great political leader Digvijay Singh (Diggy Chacha) filed complaint against Twenty-two people who used websites to allegedly post "highly offensive" content against him. They will face a criminal case following a complaint filed by him. The Economic Offences Wing (EOW) of Delhi Police's Crime Branch registered a case under Section 66 of IT Act, which deals with punishment for sending offensive messages through communication services, on September 29.

"Media has misquoted Diggyji. Actually, this is a first move towards improving language skills of Indians and allows them to face competition of world with more polished language and good and humane content," said a supporter of Diggy Chacha on the naka of Delhi's Nizampur area of Delhi.

However, Diggy Chacha is a great Gandhian and believes in forgiveness so why did he file cases? The supporter said "Language skills of people are really very poor which hurt him a lot and therefore this is a first step towards teaching them how to use the proper words. Delhi jail will act as a good classroom, Delhi Police will take classes

and Chacha will give guest lectures."

"Diggy Chacha wants more and more people to come forward and become polished leaders like Chidduji who have really good command on English. These days he was really worried after seeing increasing trend of a new language called "Hinglish" (unparliamentary words in Hindi and intelligent words in English). Further non-sensical change in words of proper nouns (names of people) and common nouns (names of other things) also annoyed him. Therefore, he took this step. In Delhi jail he will give them proper training to improve the quality of their language," the supporter said.